I wonder how many of you hardcore tweeters who claim to be wasted, are actually sitting there with a mug of cocoa and a blankie.

#iftwitterwasapub We’d all be repeating each other and sticking stars on people.

I want a friend with benefits, who's not really interested in being my friend.

#LessInspiringBooks Alice in Poundland

Alcohol is never the answer......but then again, neither is milk.

If you are going out tonight celebrating and have the misfortune to end up in A&E, don't be twats and abuse the staff, they're there to help

#lessinspiringbooks Lidl Women

Who's Coat Is That Full Metal Jacket #Welshfilms recycled

So some don’t like being retweeted or starred by people that don’t follow them….really?

Everyone I get I appreciate, whoever they’re from.

Being on twitter 24/7 I discover that..

Aussies are the funniest

Americans are the most sensitive

And the Brits just drink a lot.

If I'm planking, does that mean I'm really board?

Journey to the Centre of the Oeuff #eggfilms

Funny…….check

Kind……..check

Good looking…….check

Successful…….check

Single…….why?

I love it when you star me, but I'll know I've arrived when you RT me.

#RIPAmanda Goodnight my friend my heart is breaking / you made us laugh whilst you were aching / you're one of Twitter's best / now at rest.

I love twitter. Some days it's deep and philosophical, other times, it's like being on the set of a Carry On film.

Ok, there's something wrong and it's worrying me. I'm in a good mood and I don't know why? Do I need to see a Doctor?

What's a girl got to do to get a RT around here? Be funny you say, talk about sex, show my boobs. Damn.

#cakefilms He’s Just Not That Into Choux

Terraqueous………water earth are you on about #artwiculate