Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 383
Followers: 726
Favs Given: 15,300
Favs Rec'd: 9,952
@mannyteee's (Mike Oxlong) most faved Tweets...
mannyteee
Wedding's in two weeks. Wish I could invite all of you, but the Waffle House only sits 33.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
This might be the meth talking but my life is ruined.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
This bar is lame. They only serve wine and stale wafers but I heard there's face painting that gets rid of sins. Anyways, totally drunk.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
I followed someone in real life and now it sucks because house arrest is BO-RING.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Someone asked me to send a fax and naturally, when I don't know how to do something, I start masturbating in front of them.
@mannyteee
105
prettygirlmasonKlodtjenfunkyjenreverendrossevrythingmustgojorshuwahMalkahtilermartshGirl11ElevenamuirinStereoForBrainsjiggerjinnerbitchBad_Valentinequirkyfossil90VIEW
ALL
mannyteee
Wife: You've started drinking already? Super Bowl is not until 6:30 tonight.

Me: The Super Bowl is on today?
@mannyteee
103
TheBoshanotmickhireKlodtlafixbonisteelk2bfsnydcrankfetterchristalandthe_new_elementMrsNutcase215Roadfilmadamisacsonlesbeebejoesmithreally88VIEW
ALL
mannyteee
I went to a comedy show last night but sadly I was unable to find his jokes funny until I imagined them typed out.
@mannyteee
101
behindyourbacklafixTymethieftheacerbic1Trick_or_tweetgothscifigirlapricoticaDavySunshinefactualfictionsucittaMImAwake2hacopianherephwharrisRexHuppkekambrock86VIEW
ALL
mannyteee
Whoever invented decaf must have been the same guy who read Playboy just for the articles.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
I'm always a little wary of Thanksgiving because, what will start as a nice family dinner, always becomes my intervention.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Thanks to Facebook, I now know it's Thursday and everyone is going to work.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Why do I always come up with the best shit in the bathroom?
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Watching The Biggest Loser in HD and I must say, the clarity is stunning shit I'm looking in the mirror.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Trees say the darndest things when you're high.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Coming up with a double entendre is tougher than laying pipe at your mom's house.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
My employer is so cheap. They're all like "don't print e-mails" and "turn off your PC when leaving" and "stop taking home office supplies."
@mannyteee
mannyteee
A lady pulled her purse closer when I walked by. I would be offended, but I'll forgive her since I still had my ski mask on.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Thank goodness for the five-second rule. Any longer and I would've had to apply the who-cares-if-it-was-already-in-the-garbage rule.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Happy to report that despite this economic downturn, Natural Light still tastes like shit.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Twitter's only flaw is that you can't turn up the volume when she's yelling at you.
@mannyteee
mannyteee
Did I just walk in on my parents having sex or was that the new Lady GaGa song on the radio.
@mannyteee
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar