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  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Remove from packaging.
    2. Microwave 2 minutes on HIGH.
    3. You had dreams once.
    4. You used to laugh.
    5. Evenly spread cream cheese icing.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    DudeInABearSuitcmcmahonRainingParadescottttaywillowskyycicada_legsGoat_Hugsrumnogg
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    donwcmcmahonjgkd_whiteplumemensan98thJoanArkhamwayoutosphereLeavittAlone
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    Math problems are not your problems. You cannot solve for x. You are x. The universe will solve you in time, like all mortal men. Resist

    • 92
    • FAVS
    gneiccoScurdTumLickerphoebelovescakeSkullcatcarli_piXcqz2wowjaredniceartmisia
    • 111
    • RETWEETS
    ShannonMCwhirteDebs_BrownpantsahoywowjaredniceSnakeyartmisiaMaxRustlesGarrettLeia
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    2. Defrost at 30% for 1 min.
    3. Turn sandwich, heat on HIGH for 50 seconds.
    4. Note reflection in oven door.
    5. You will never be younger.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    _leastweaselgneiccok_charlie_k1Dazza1longliveleah_krylonshirpastefanielaine
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    k_charlie_krealitymalcomtaylorjadebean____longliveleah_Aivankrylonsuperbiatebethtub
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Set oven to 375°
    2. Place tater tots evenly on pan.
    3. Was it your fault? Her fault?
    4. Does it even matter?
    5. Glumly turn those tots.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    waynebratton1gneiccok_charlie_kbulbgarlicOriginalNicoledouwezielcid_seesSkullcat
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    waynebratton1v_battagliaof_DontrealJakeQuakeobdtipsonsetshot8ahhhpatrick______s_shashank_s
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    HOW TO NEVER FORGET:
    1) Always remember
    2) Re-remember
    3) If you start to forget, stop
    4) Remember that you're forgetting
    5) Surgical

    • 67
    • FAVS
    gneiccomatt_thedNick_FrostSgtPantsHaterSkullcatcarli_piwowjarednicewordsfromjenn
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    SgtPantsHaterwowjaredniceartmisiadorna_ashorySupersurly_J_JizzleFavstar500FavsDidemTezelman
    Supersurly
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    3.141592653589793238462643383279502884THEY6DIE93SLOW5IN097494459230THE6406286208998628034825342117067END148086513282306647093844609550582231

    • 46
    • FAVS
    _leastweaselSignificentBearTheFauxnarandomhimDRIFTERLORDtammiariceImOnlineLolghostmancer_
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    McChillin_tommyhizanlonJEBWrenchFreyasSpiritTareqShahiruniicornmeatpassmypillsDRIFTERLORD
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    * Peel back cover, stir peas.
    * Heat for 1-2 more minutes.
    * Let stand for 1 min.
    * Use that minute to think. Look at your LIFE, man.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    gneiccocid_seesLeeMifsudsnailbuttheadSkullcatcarli_piahhhpatrick______McTangle
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    JakeQuakeobdtipsonspicy__tunaahhhpatrick______s_shashank_sMcTanglewowjaredniceSnakey
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Add pouch to boiling water.
    2. Whisk until smooth.
    3. Whiskey until you
    4. forget her and the
    5. way she cried your
    6. name making love.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    _leastweaselgneiccopoplopodigitalpunditbfrysworldDJScallywagAlexofMastodonaVERYRARETYLER
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    _leastweaselFavstar500FavsjamesatkinsbfrysworldAlexofMastodonrantydaveSamHatchetOhItsStephen
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    not overexert yourself. Start slowly and work your way up to more vigorous sleeping. Gradually increase hours slept until dead

    • 32
    • FAVS
    jaytakeiErikaaaYeowDanairyrodriguekristathornburgrbecbjimmydouchecanofavstar_poph_essaqaf
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    KingsleyOsiemoAllredTodorojoDenDave_LarryKoopertearsintherain1IsaacSchootfavstar_popNoelleolol
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    WHO LET MY FLAWS OUT

    • 51
    • FAVS
    skullcatsmoved____botanicazillaKimpulsespamegnlzcarlawhBringitonhomeeFRANKSTALICIOUSwwwesty
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    ubetyourwrasse____favstar50_es2favstar500_esmc_poppndicentra33decodehersavetheplanktonChristiCon
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Ask opposing team politely for football.
    2. Hold it daintily like a purse.
    3. Wave like a giant girl!
    4. Stroll casually to the end zone.

    • 29
    • FAVS
    Maria_PeteRJ5000COACHING_YOUSteveHufflauriecoronaTriciaLockwoodChefBoredRTsAlexLimitless
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Snakeyartmisiadicentra33andre0idorcdocthatkatygirlshdwphyrebr0adzilla____
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Impregnate teen girl by telepathy.
    2. Send her into exile with elderly husband.
    3. Induce birth in barn.
    4. Have wise men bring perfume.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    retgoneagentkyleMaria_PetedeadlatelySthrnGirlFrozenSighsGinaRitterLIPSTICKxoxo
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    gabrieljbakerraptorhandsGinaRittercynthiakingpeidavecormiersebpaquetnomad411fantomaster
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    DO NOT PANIC! Snow day procedures:
    * Procure money
    * Procure hos
    * Procure gin and juice
    * Lose gin, juice, money to hos

    • 30
    • FAVS
    eddie_rozayySkullcatcarli_piwowjarednicefeetoclaydonnikayluebersmikesheffler
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    wowjaredniceidea15webdesign8effNOLABravesFanquahog_convoaimlesslyjenny__justlivinglikeULKMadda
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    Click the box that applies.

    ☐ I have read and agree with the terms & conditions

    ☑ I WILL FIND YOU ALL & I WILL COME WEARING THE BLOODSUIT

    • 40
    • FAVS
    varaninederpreverehuesiemamaMrJonGuythirdsecondelecray7ktuggernaut__shirpa
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    captprofdrsirelecray7kMild_Wallacetuggernaut__lunavisoverthinkbuuuckybarneslankyguy
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Add boiling water to flakes.
    2. Stir in butter.
    3. Think about love.
    4. Why you can't accept it.
    5. That's why they leave.
    6. Every time.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    retgonelhstaubshannahmayzcustomdeluxelalalalaurarakathrynyuMalfeasiblehouseofcarlyle
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    TareqShahirchrstnknnrWavvessevvaWDuCoteNukemMsInglisclothedvillainyAequoEtBonoHuckBrushy
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    New Years Resolutions:

    1. 1024 x 768
    2. 1280 x 800
    3. 1366 x 768
    4. 1440 x 900
    5. Fewer threatening letters to the estate of Fred Rogers.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    PostedandBeamediNyagah_douwezielSkullcatcarli_pifruitbatobfloskiiKeetPotato
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    wowjaredniceAtotheKissliability_tedJimboSmittyJackStewtunesd2cphotobrian43nykarmakimmie
    wowjarednice
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    1. Place in microwave.
    2. Set timer for 2:45.
    3. Remember that day at the beach and how beautiful she was.
    4. Let pizza rest for one minute.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    k_charlie_kretgoneDMCSarfZacharrayhannahmayzaleks7evenConners17zalechary
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    newchaosrmiZacharrayhgummozalecharylunarcicadasKanYangLigOFE
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    ★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★INFLICT☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★STARS☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★ON☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★OTHERS☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

    • 27
    • FAVS
    missanthropisstDesertACUkvangorkkjaaaytimescannerthesadsquatchtmheimbaughhuesiemama
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    solamarleMild_Wallace7amandiSufferesPanthaPantsthemevolutionUrRoleModelx0x0haveringtoyou
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    INSERT 25¢ TO BEGIN DOOM MODE

    • 29
    • FAVS
    mosstheishstrawxberriesSignificentBearda_cernaenorphous_wcwhisperingchasmXXSNACKXXnuggettasse
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    mosstheishstrawxberriesTareqShahiruniicornmeatstephanieputtyda_cernaInfernalPaladinnuggettasse
  • manual_txt
      Operators Manual @manual_txt

    seasoning packet over noodles; stir. Cover box, let sit for 2 minutes. Look at yourself reflected in the microwave. You had dreams once.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    ShinyMixtapes____GregimoHallowedCrowYimsterFifeWorrierQueen______theleanoverElephartScenicle
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    emmajeffoShinyMixtapes____WorrierQueen______TheDjMochamichaelkebriggsjsoppeAcceptableLosesfactualfiction
@manual_txt

@manual_txt

are blood, Randall