@markchertok's (mark chertok) most faved Tweets...
I hate when big fat asses stand in line in front of you at mcdonalds and stare at the menu board like they weren't there yesterday.
facebook is like your wife who always has a headache and twitter is like your girlfriend who never has a headache and likes in the ass.
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Meth, it takes your teeth your trailer your children and your money.The best part is your awake for the entire thing.
14
"If you watch jaws backwards, its about a shark that throws up so many people they need to open up a beach"
12
When i'm bored i like to come up with porno tittles like "legend of pp swallow" staring Johnny deep.
12
I just took the #facebook test"what is your favorite sexual position" it told me "my left hand on the couch with a bottle of Jergens.
11
You know how you walk into a room and forgot why you went in there? I think that is how my dog spend's her whole life.
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I ran out of astroglide last night so i had to substitute with extra virgin olive oil.I guess now its just called olive oil.
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The best thing about my grandmother with Alzheimers is the 5 dollars i get every week for my birthday.
9
Just saw a geo metro full of fat chicks with a bumper sticker that read"haulin ass"leaving behind a dust cloud of irony.
8
"I'm so glad they found balloon boy.For a moment i thought Michael Jackson was placing a delivery order from heaven"
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