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The hardest part about learning how to swim was figuring out how to open the burlap sack from the inside.
I think I'll watch a movie where Denzel Washington has a gun and becomes upset with someone at some point.
If you name your daughter Chastity, you are likely setting yourself up for disappointment.
I have to say, the instrructions for this "self-lobotomy" kit are intimidating as hell. Nevermind, I think we're gggggggg
Sometimes I worry that I don't even know Dr. Dre anymore; it's like he's not the same old G, despite his protests to the contrary.
I mean, if it were me stuck in the desert with nobody to talk to but a horse, that bastard would probably have a name in no time.
You could play a very mean joke on a skydiver if you had a GIANT low resolution topography map.
In third grade handwriting class I calmly asked the hot teaching assistant if my "but" looked good.
Is "I'm not certain you're ready for that" an appropriate response to "May I search your vehicle?"
You always hear about how "you can't keep a good man down" but never about how many kicks to take a mediocre man out.
I'm awfully proud of myself for not allowing my lack of creativity fuck with my lack of motivation today. This takes talent folks.