Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Instead of telling you all the possible side effects, the tv drug ads should end with "this shit will either cure you or kill you."
Which came first. Twitter or my total lack of interest in life.
I'm beginning to believe that the other sperm LET me win.
Being sad and lonely on twitter is the equivelent of being perky and happy on facebook.
My whole fucking world is falling down around me, and yet I sit here trying to come up with a good tweet. Well played twitter, well played.
My favorite sexual position is a sexual postion.
Assholes that abuse animals are not human.
Twitter. Where you can be rejected by hundreds of people that you don't know all at the same time and have that wiped out by 1 little star.
Vaginas are fun. Particularly those that are attached to women.
I don't get mad at people. I don't get even with people. I fucking ignore people.
Write a tweet that doesn't make any sense. People will star it because they don't want anyone to know that they don't understand it.
Masturbation is just our way of telling our bodies that this will have to do until the real thing comes along.
I can write stupid, unfunny tweets too. I just don't have enough followers to get them starred.
Sluts are great fun. Even if you're married to one. Especially if you're married to one.
The clap you get after unprotected sex is not applause.
I may suck now, but give me a few more followers and I will blow your socks off, or your skirt up, whatever. I'm saving the good stuff.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That tweet was funny as shit! How could it not get any stars?"
~ Everyone on Twitter.
Most of the time a retweet is a compliment but sometimes it's "look how stupid this person is, everybody" .
Come on people. We can't all be stupid.
"All right! Let's get this fucking show on the road." ~ Little baby jesus right after he was born.