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  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It's like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad

    • 4,484
    • FAVS
    ehwhatthuhgorgedfleshJet_MichaelsjustinmerritShamsAshrafNwinnerofprizetea_not_warfaithacosta0
    • 2,862
    • RETWEETS
    imnoteverywomanthethirdkeyKKKiaracversaceccchampagneammithekalekittenshhh_daianeCynthFranklin
    summerofbennytnylgnUNTRESORGregDorrisseriouslyemilyThisAlexSteinrobfeeSeanBlazed__lvvzzashley_barnhillSamGrittnerAaronFullertondonni
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    No, my kid didn't do the drawings I have up around my desk. I did them. It's my desk.

    • 3,115
    • FAVS
    goldengateblondMpaige0aprilageandyu94WCHSPatrickcolorful_UtopiasoleilalaplageLesleyElora666
    • 971
    • RETWEETS
    akayschneidergossipgoatseTylerTheGreatori_get_sillyairandlaceCoralSomerton1Gabby_YankowichGabrielLattimer
    WhatevaConc
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Guess what? I made my own nachos. Did it work out? No. Things don't always work out. Am I ok? Also, no

    • 2,211
    • FAVS
    clarissa_daviesNotThatNixonBUD_GRLLoverOfComics94dramastickylekubog00phyErnstart
    • 831
    • RETWEETS
    Clancy_Prudpn_99ElLuicemanLoverOfComics94nvkajesP_B_J_SandwichCarboslyNickPlexS
    radiomaruzachreinert03BeeStaplerAngreaMandySlambergjessicacabot
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sorry when u called I was busy holding my phone in my hand and staring at it without blinking

    • 1,885
    • FAVS
    ProfFartSparkleWCHSPatrickkaitiibearalyoganbrassfieldbootyuycdblvjgmadisonellewebbracklave
    • 820
    • RETWEETS
    WCHSPatricknicolenoslerjayprayinmanisDevious_smratzschmayermweeedmanPer_nasthevalleydoll
    radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    If u can't take the heat, I'll go ahead and turn it down a little bit. Is that better? Love you so much

    • 1,229
    • FAVS
    Erik_Allentheninjagregelliewrsh69writocifiedryanbyrddotnetCopelandNatalyathepaulboothAnnalieseMorris
    • 470
    • RETWEETS
    ryanbyrddotnetAnnalieseMorristighegurdrunkstufAGremlinStormMikeorelsecolekurkColleenhaha
    radiomarurorynotroy
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Pretend like you're twenty years older and got the option to go back in time and re-live the previous twenty years: go

    • 1,082
    • FAVS
    rashelle_jayTwobit333aardvarskteaotehuianormadeguerreErik_AllenBurds_1mdob11
    • 585
    • RETWEETS
    Twobit333maryekoenigCharlottecaxmafeddzmoohaighToxicitykimmillbotnieske
    rorynotroyshruglorddeeeebag
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    The good thing about Twitter is that if you have a good personality, there is someone with a better personality who is also funnier than you

    • 1,106
    • FAVS
    destinibryantxoxo_xtjasmine16935782Toolittlesleepzwybitniepapatengosed507pmOwnenP
    • 542
    • RETWEETS
    xoxo_xtkarlamac24sarahfeatonbyalina_royajamesmichaelcGlennMay94bsettinoNIV7
    greenteam15lvvzzlanyardigananhonestmess______
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Comment on every picture of someone's dog, "What is this"

    • 1,181
    • FAVS
    NotThatNixonlostgirl23hannahmbutlerzoesiepertSchowJesseBLG216madisonellewebbkristinationn
    • 439
    • RETWEETS
    minealone6Pseudo_SpamNotThatNixonaubrey_annettebjmendyNickBossRossJoshPetersen7NigelVenable
    IGotsSmarts
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I'm not "rich." Actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you're talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still

    • 1,145
    • FAVS
    BananaKareninalambertaustenSarahKenny12SchowJessecarlweathers22Heatheremekt_mulletBrocketscience
    • 384
    • RETWEETS
    lostgirl23EricDidHisBestemily_truesdalemikeymac21mike_as_hellashleyyymooreeNickBossRossJoshPetersen7
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL

    • 1,060
    • FAVS
    JoshPetersen7Erik_AllenGusWrayTheVictasticKmdob11jinkiescoobradicaljocyawescar
    • 454
    • RETWEETS
    JoshPetersen7boredbeckyradicaljocyvikster94EliHansenMusicDBwiddaDB2448larryRichEdge
    RowdySailboatrorynotroyGarbageMystic
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Girl are you my Programs Running because you are Not Responding

    • 908
    • FAVS
    grenadineWhos_LondynjonayboyTheLifeAwayren_stephenxzqxEmilySWetzelpie_maker
    • 392
    • RETWEETS
    bpubTrashCanTrashdjrangethe_nadztechmicheal_herebewonderTom_svebtotally_tod
    warholearydavidallendos
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Seabiscuit? More like Landhorse

    • 969
    • FAVS
    ToriEllis26JayZLeMEOWisSanchoBanditotammallencatherlandoJkHayakseecliffordsamfenster
    • 293
    • RETWEETS
    catherlandoantithingrandalladdisonbluehippiecatsNireOneromrealjaredheckquecmoiamericmartin
    greenteam15jitkaBeeStaplerMiahSaintSpencerLenox
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant

    • 1,005
    • FAVS
    KatieBurnettjacobshoafLiquidthekidMsMollyStamfordFarmerBraxtonheathermarnePiazzaMattjathankellar
    • 205
    • RETWEETS
    lindsayleliveltWordsFromClairedrescaleyesjessicabillthebutcher2tigersgoroooarNadavRazMarkAgee
    radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Here's my impression of the person who invented those cardboard sleeve things for drinks: "Ow ow it's too hot"

    • 941
    • FAVS
    SweetPatootGoCarlaalora_navarroCullanDiffeeYNGFRNCOwebsurfer1812rothenburycamjohn_bosworth
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyversaceccCullanDiffeeanthomanicallyrder0EmilyNortheyBifffffalexismtyler
    LostCatDogmareodomoradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I like when dogs choose to do that really dramatic sigh. It's like, you're fine.

    • 902
    • FAVS
    Social_Rejectsxkaitguilly_Ioana1oliviamorey97WCHSPatrickfrantzyprampin1ashleyklejnabentwerkins2
    • 303
    • RETWEETS
    WCHSPatrickErmineEmpirebentwerkins2DylanBar1gabicasapicam_matthews11AmandaBurfkarrwhittington
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Should I bring anything to your party besides pronounced social anxiety and no food

    • 730
    • FAVS
    Twobit333YoSoyNateBrownSummerPeelemdob11molleculeyawescarDaftPunkandLove_lostcoastlines
    • 376
    • RETWEETS
    Twobit333BeeCeeIsHereteamdanjonesturkeyboob_kgottsBARF_PARTYwhiteshibeREMOVEYOURPANTS
    Home_Halfway
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it

    • 676
    • FAVS
    Twobit333c_gleeshharrisonvcvictorysquatAnemoneOhMaxSleezeSea_monkeeeyturdvolcano
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    Twobit333Burds_1harrisonvcSea_monkeeeyMykeyPerryC_E_CullenNolaChef504SauceyDuh
    OhDuarteradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I always wear a hair-tie around my wrist just in case I need to have a dark pink line there later

    • 756
    • FAVS
    maxissocampJerryRo_ArmissrickleyseattlegupJosh_Soonglowra747CabetoMejiaPackyLundholm
    • 300
    • RETWEETS
    alina_royaLesTravoldcarolionusWrappedEelhktpartyTheArea51AlienAhm76WhitThay
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I'm at work for another hour and my phone's at 14%. If I don't make it to the end of the day, tell all my friends, "Not much u"

    • 663
    • FAVS
    ander_jenErik_AllenBurds_1Yo_Simmity_SamTheOstinmeganshpettitodysse_usmdob11
    • 250
    • RETWEETS
    __ambraDBwiddaDBdannyrivas85IbyRavatgracejoyvictoryavivapeltinelliepsesLillywillner
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    What's your favorite planet *cuts you off* mine's Jupiter

    • 717
    • FAVS
    Twobit333mdob11radicaljocyawescaraKhalifa101randomtempnamesaltythetrainNully_
    • 189
    • RETWEETS
    Twobit333radicaljocyfavstar_historytehgrllaaarrrnn__sarahmeineburnettski92trouvaine
    duplicitronradiomaru
@MaryKoCo

@MaryKoCo

[Likes]: salt, secrets [Dislikes]: headlights, decisions

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