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  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It's like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad

    • 3,242
    • FAVS
    TRoss_30JosiahTubbsferrara_rosiecynthiasmith191berkeleymariaforallthebadUlloaNancymanny_booy
    • 2,235
    • RETWEETS
    kellygreeniizBrittMcGuireeldubbs_kristenstiehlCMcGrattyJodhiMRThatDoucheTonyforallthebad
    summerofbennytnylgnUNTRESORGregDorrisseriouslyemilyThisAlexSteinrobfeeSeanBlazed__lvvzzashley_barnhillSamGrittnerAaronFullertondonni
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sorry when u called I was busy holding my phone in my hand and staring at it without blinking

    • 1,626
    • FAVS
    ChrisPedone_redbeltmarileadaMattShineybloodydantasticKaylaAutumnawescarparthvader2
    • 731
    • RETWEETS
    SchipaporefreshingxbeanHappeningTerresacaAltairMargaletConallSharkeyjayphi22divadeb99
    radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Guess what? I made my own nachos. Did it work out? No. Things don't always work out. Am I ok? Also, no

    • 1,526
    • FAVS
    nivlaGnoraAellitmonatashaw771GusWrayturdvolcano_redbeltmarileadajackroche55
    • 561
    • RETWEETS
    jillianoblejamasternesdevalluedmozzysticksHypercraxyapocalypsedoe__Jangoramaakayetly
    radiomaruzachreinert03BeeStaplerAngreaMandySlambergjessicacabot
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Pretend like you're twenty years older and got the option to go back in time and re-live the previous twenty years: go

    • 1,078
    • FAVS
    mdob11charliehayes93postfolkrockchkilroyJacquieNicoleashleylynnwayKatieWhoCanReadnieske
    • 584
    • RETWEETS
    maryekoenigCharlottecaxmafeddzmoohaighToxicitykimmillbotnieskeThiefree
    rorynotroyshruglorddeeeebag
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Comment on every picture of someone's dog, "What is this"

    • 1,145
    • FAVS
    Zriggy5yungkafkaconstantlyjoshGusWraySam__Williamsmerrymargaretciarandowneyvikkarooni
    • 432
    • RETWEETS
    NigelVenableYoshuaDavisvirtuoustauemopreteenEmirioSonDoctorMouse3nickyfontanamicaeladermody
    IGotsSmarts
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL

    • 1,059
    • FAVS
    GusWrayTheVictasticKmdob11jinkiescoobradicaljocyawescarmboberekEliHansenMusic
    • 453
    • RETWEETS
    boredbeckyradicaljocyvikster94EliHansenMusicDBwiddaDB2448larryRichEdgeohmydindin
    RowdySailboatrorynotroyGarbageMystic
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I'm not "rich." Actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you're talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still

    • 1,091
    • FAVS
    j_pedsKateWhineHallBoscoPortereborg01VojBomb_keegstandevidentlyblondeamaniir
    • 377
    • RETWEETS
    j_peds_HeyCindy_eborg01VojBombamaniirMajesticJawnfalcon054sampayment
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    The good thing about Twitter is that if you have a good personality, there is someone with a better personality who is also funnier than you

    • 974
    • FAVS
    time_indefinitemdob11awescarmboberekaKhalifa101Aspersioncastjoshua_starrmidnitesoc
    • 491
    • RETWEETS
    time_indefinitesewpertrampl1ll1lllcolbyajohnsongrlsdemsugaralexisannejonesSapirShmapirwizardfeces
    greenteam15lvvzzlanyardigananhonestmess______
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    If u can't take the heat, I'll go ahead and turn it down a little bit. Is that better? Love you so much

    • 1,014
    • FAVS
    moolengaHexateucHKashwingbobbyjeansgoat_wangkuhlayerbigggCarolemilysylman
    • 378
    • RETWEETS
    callmefuckfaceBrewsterLouemilysylmanHexateucHrawilkinson11dani_defiancecee_daddyMACKHighbrowShawn
    radiomarurorynotroy
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Girl are you my Programs Running because you are Not Responding

    • 877
    • FAVS
    mdob11swoonforknifethe_littletrampLetdownLizziesmeagolsfreerandomtempnameryan_burtLeahRaeder
    • 386
    • RETWEETS
    butthaverLetdownLizziejackblast_liftyourlifeTheSchwalGregorPants__MishafedyaninMattPlunkett
    warholearydavidallendos
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant

    • 944
    • FAVS
    mdob11Francolino_BreeawescarFaithHandy97the_littletrampRukaya_KGaglia_03jamesl
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    BillieArnoldnwdiahhtessanmoh_that_rachelalvincleenaomisarah_HellaSamarMiissAbruzzo
    radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Seabiscuit? More like Landhorse

    • 845
    • FAVS
    mdob11DaSalamonderawescar_mah_usernamethe_littletrampnickbergmeistertommyhannon_93arm_rest
    • 266
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarVoteRyanForKingThehodgekidKevinMacNallymal_howMilesOhmfuygieri__3cheeseburgers
    greenteam15jitkaBeeStaplerMiahSaintSpencerLenox
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Should I bring anything to your party besides pronounced social anxiety and no food

    • 728
    • FAVS
    SummerPeelemdob11molleculeyawescarDaftPunkandLove_lostcoastlinessadolanscalliewag
    • 374
    • RETWEETS
    turkeyboob_kgottsBARF_PARTYwhiteshibeREMOVEYOURPANTSamajoroperationmarianettleregardlss__
    Home_Halfway
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it

    • 669
    • FAVS
    turdvolcanomdob11gofenbaKevinBuffaloolerunkbitchNolaChef504HabbibtiBananaDolphin
    • 377
    • RETWEETS
    MykeyPerryC_E_CullenNolaChef504SauceyDuhHabbibtiawescar_carolinebauer_LoopofFate
    OhDuarteradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I always wear a hair-tie around my wrist just in case I need to have a dark pink line there later

    • 704
    • FAVS
    lismorsekathe_kollwitzno_c0astbowers_annasippolaaaAlanstarzinskiblbolton11alyssiahannah
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    sapient_apelaurakgudvangenkellyanewCheeburgasupremegrrrldeeshkathisisnotcamMWillyG
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Here's my impression of the person who invented those cardboard sleeve things for drinks: "Ow ow it's too hot"

    • 734
    • FAVS
    NomiMBRowdySailboatmdob11juicelikerSeelvaAllahverdkat_masonnrorynotroyTheFemKilljoy
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    TheFemKilljoyalicetarapuzakulicsangelphishZeEfBeSquimm_GroupparrottashGreenishDuck
    LostCatDogmareodomoradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I'm at work for another hour and my phone's at 14%. If I don't make it to the end of the day, tell all my friends, "Not much u"

    • 658
    • FAVS
    odysse_usmdob11__ambranicarmstrongDBwiddaDBCyd10eenochulatednathanlogan
    • 250
    • RETWEETS
    __ambraDBwiddaDBdannyrivas85IbyRavatgracejoyvictoryaviva_peltinelliepsesLillywillner
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    What's your favorite planet *cuts you off* mine's Jupiter

    • 716
    • FAVS
    mdob11radicaljocyawescaraKhalifa101randomtempnamesaltythetrainNully_lilyincanada
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    radicaljocyfavstar_historytehgrllaaarrrnn__sarahmeineburnettski92trouvainerorynotroy
    duplicitronradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    No, my kid didn't do the drawings I have up around my desk. I did them. It's my desk.

    • 689
    • FAVS
    NomiMBMatt_EliabroestlsturdvolcanoRowdySailboatgspelsscarebromdob11
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    RowdySailboatjqnotjqsuccubusslutdanieljayzjemappelliegspelsDougggaAutumnSkye13
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Ugh I hate when you get salt in your eye from pouring chips from the bag into your mouth

    • 559
    • FAVS
    RowdySailboatawescaronthelukeoutRukaya_Kmkillysmith_courtneWhiteMaleEricPodell
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    smith_courtnelaurenbaluyot21Rad_i_Otiscat_eliz11KingAtlas11ACwalters_shayna_mdcloakstorm__
@MaryKoCo

@MaryKoCo

[Likes]: salt, secrets [Dislikes]: headlights, decisions

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