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  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It's like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad

    • 2,704
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyotegayapparelConstantlyjoshK_______dcliffordpaynetandisqueitskatherineramkayyharris
    • 2,003
    • RETWEETS
    TexasGunWorkssteveyknighthollyrosetweetguiltybutterflyConstantlyjoshK_______dEveOrCrysLucasLieswald
    summerofbennytnylgnUNTRESORGregDorrisseriouslyemilyThisAlexSteinrobfeeSeanBlazedlvvzzashley_barnhillSamGrittnerAaronFullertondonni
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sorry when u called I was busy holding my phone in my hand and staring at it without blinking

    • 1,007
    • FAVS
    facetattWildeThingybaviddaileyGreaseratjhalm40ericetericxmaswarsmeagolsfree
    • 469
    • RETWEETS
    Zigs26TheMerMalsfvddsburnettski92kissmeimapirateLetdownLizzieRndmCharactermmorganpaigee
    radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL

    • 1,026
    • FAVS
    residentmadmanNakedCoyoteLeidy__ASIdamnSUZSuvieDCmojo_caZigs26captaincoximus
    • 413
    • RETWEETS
    monicarazyFlyingg_PenguinNakedCoyoteSuvieDCZigs26KavyaKOVTh3PezDispencerMaddyFlower
    RowdySailboatrorynotroyGarbageMystic
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Comment on every picture of someone's dog, "What is this"

    • 982
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyoteshutupheavgigglegirlnoelKennyWeithvirgiltexasBig_Tuck_dilbydarlingKrLillenes
    • 366
    • RETWEETS
    JMHarencharshutupheavr0wdyruffvenkaiceprincesleechee420JakeQuakeobmajorswegmschizzle_
    IGotsSmarts
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    The good thing about Twitter is that if you have a good personality, there is someone with a better personality who is also funnier than you

    • 825
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyotebromethazinekingoffthebeachKrimgarcia09InverseDreamJohnRhinesSTLBornToLuzChelsWoodmansee
    • 445
    • RETWEETS
    phantomsodajulezdajokerJohnRhinesSTLMalikmofogirlact75FutalanRchochopanteraefseaj
    greenteam15lvvzzlanyardigananhonestmess______
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Guess what? I made my own nachos. Did it work out? No. Things don't always work out. Am I ok? Also, no

    • 943
    • FAVS
    Humor_FetishWenzeroniBobbyAwfulmaebemarblesjewfacekillaNakedCoyotemdob11ktrayyo
    • 325
    • RETWEETS
    jewfacekillaktrayyoWeemsicleturkqueenzeldaabbycohenwlally2272with_a__CBorisandrechek
    radiomaruzachreinert03BeeStaplerAngreaMandySlambergjessicacabot
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Girl are you my Programs Running because you are Not Responding

    • 870
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillaFancyShortPantsNakedCoyotetarathomassmithgigglegirlnoelkingoffthebeachMishafedyaninturnoffthissong
    • 384
    • RETWEETS
    jackblast_liftyourlifeTheSchwalGregorPantsMishafedyaninMattPlunkettshaneaverettecroptopqueen
    LeeryLearydavidallendos
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Seabiscuit? More like Landhorse

    • 835
    • FAVS
    VoteRyanForKingFancyShortPantscashrhymesNakedCoyoteKrys10Michellebutt_hookItsCowpBunBain
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    VoteRyanForKingNakedCoyoteKevinMacNallymal_howMilesOhm7fuygieriDrCheeseburgersburnettski92
    greenteam15jitkaBeeStaplerMiahSaintSpencerLenox
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it

    • 655
    • FAVS
    atleembEmily_J_Murphy_itarompicanterobotHarasescobarMichael_Luxbig_dumb_idiotlzeff
    • 367
    • RETWEETS
    jupitervan_itaromi_zzzzzzbrad_limegroverkrisknutTossingTurnipsluishinojosaaaKasTwits
    OhDuarteradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Pretend like you're twenty years older and got the option to go back in time and re-live the previous twenty years: go

    • 647
    • FAVS
    ReebekahhhjewfacekillathatAndrewCNakedCoyotePc7918BRADBagyantsJessssVoglerth_purpl_lady
    • 351
    • RETWEETS
    rankingTweetsTeaBeaPeaWaifXdeeeebagshruglordplentyofalcovesparklotvowsunfilter
    shruglorddeeeebag
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant

    • 808
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillaFancyShortPantsSlyPinkspyNakedCoyoteREALityDUMB1tudoresunfilterDrLickenstein
    • 176
    • RETWEETS
    SlyPinkspyNakedCoyotetonch07BonJovi32AgataHoszBrattneyBMeet_LxxyLastMermaid
    radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Should I bring anything to your party besides pronounced social anxiety and no food

    • 568
    • FAVS
    solschumascvmsvckerkorkboardjewfacekillaRachel_DeGrothyBen8pGaitanJohncallmefreezie
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    ed0nzmeganfurchnerBrookeMulderOsaka_StarbuxscoutieGreaseratRauchPotatoMikaelBarstad
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I'm not "rich." Actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you're talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still

    • 634
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyotegigglegirlnoelBig_Tuck_sunfilterBurds_1CourtneyCrumbcackle_hagMagDeLeonardis
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    mrjustinhallNMRspecrvrshelbus7128goblinpaladinadumbfishLleamenhiggs_bosom
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    What's your favorite planet *cuts you off* mine's Jupiter

    • 659
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillaNakedCoyotegigglegirlnoelapopagasmcowboyishsunfilter_EvansDJoshTBlock
    • 178
    • RETWEETS
    KylaDenniganseptembawestjasonjarmooshtskcommatskJacobWood1wood4sheepfreecorgiCoregan
    duplicitronradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    I just called someone and they ANSWERED...? Desperate much

    • 516
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyotegigglegirlnoelkingoffthebeachBig_Tuck_laurhhungry4food13sunfilterfu_forthought
    • 169
    • RETWEETS
    KarimePDLLanie_BlackKlimovaDjdavvgyballoon_knottyliongoslingAlexMals_holy__diver_
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    If u can't take the heat, I'll go ahead and turn it down a little bit. Is that better? Love you so much

    • 503
    • FAVS
    Reebekahhhjewfacekillamojo_cagigglegirlnoeldjrevelationsunfiltersenderblock23Darnn
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    pcsegalMrStephenBryantwith_a__CteatempestpotFade_Resistantmaryy_kathrynnAndrewRichmond7PJSActor
    radiomarurorynotroy
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    "How crazy is your ex? Crazy like my triceps?" "How sick is your mother? Sick like my triceps?"

    • 483
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyotesunfilterKylemartinsugaralexjmannBenjisbadbrainmusselmabethvnytorileigh319
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historygypsybarbarianAndyValeCaptainStoutHome_HalfwayDylanJTScott____keithdat_abbz
    anhonestmess______greenteam15radiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    This outfit is called Running Into Someone I Know Would Be The Ultimate Worst Thing That Could Happen

    • 424
    • FAVS
    bohokelsoNakedCoyotetit_nipperashlar36LizHackettdeeniedreamMortimusgerbilBrandonEsWolf
    • 216
    • RETWEETS
    bigboigotskillznicollettahgigglegirlnoelAngreayouonlyCIVonce____chelseycardenverbelleallexapotts
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Here's my impression of the person who invented those cardboard sleeve things for drinks: "Ow ow it's too hot"

    • 485
    • FAVS
    NakedCoyotegigglegirlnoeloliviavoinweedteen69locustbonesGr3yZer0sunfilterS_Chopade
    • 147
    • RETWEETS
    ForteKnojxxsunfilterRileyKubikCrudeRudyChrisSchwcolossusatbestOttoM777mad_for_it_
    LostCatDogmareodomoradiomaru
  • MaryKoCo
      Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo

    Sure hope my neighbors like the three songs I listen to

    • 422
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillaNakedCoyotegigglegirlnoeldjrevelationapopagasmsunfilterclarissa_daviesglittersquirrel
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    GalacticaXOcryptostrophemeggles244gckrugerJBURKE06marianettledesmonatorgovenotgov
@MaryKoCo

@MaryKoCo

[Likes]: salt, secrets [Dislikes]: headlights, decisions