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Those who say onions are the only food that can make you cry have never been hit in the face with a watermelon.
Sure, we can get married. As soon as you convince me that you're worth more than half of my stuff.
My girlfriend said she wanted me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom.
I'm making changes in my life, if you don't hear from me anymore .... you're probably one of them.
Don't waste your time on women who lack confidence and self esteem
Surprised my girlfriend with oral sex this morning. Poor girl almost choked to death.