At the end of his press conference when Obama grabbed himself and yelled, "Hope you like mixed nuts!" that crossed the line.

I really don't care what some guys 236 years ago, when the fastest available gun took 15 seconds to reload, thought about gun control.

Biden interrupting, calling liar, and laughing in his opposition's face. All stuff a black man, even a President, could never get away with.

When Bill Clinton speaks, the teleprompter reads him. #DNC

There's a bunch hipster's in NYC who told their girlfriends "We can't get married till everyone can" who are really scared right now.

Sometimes people enter your life and you think they're going to be a main character but later it's revealed they're just a plot device.

Arab bomber= Islam's evil. Black bomber=Blacks violent USA haters. Asian bomber=Tiger Mom timebombs + N. Korea. White bomber=Mentally Ill.

Paul Ryan, sitting in the dark at an empty screening of Atlas Shrugged Part II, eating air-popped butterless popcorn, crying.

Just once, I want to hear an athlete win gold and say to the cameras, "Since there's no God, I knew it was up to me, so I made it happen."

If Clint Eastwood knew about the Internet he'd be so hurt right now.

Shocked my daughter didn't get the Oscar nod for, "I Can't Wear A Coat Over My Halloween Costume, It'll Ruin My Life."

The 2nd Amendment should be upheld and apply only to weapons available in 1791 when it was written.

Some of my best friends are Caucasians and they're decent people and you shouldn't judge all of them based on the heinous acts of a few.

Hey let's be racist & homophobic & sexist & ignore science & threaten war & then when we lose claim it's cuz people just want free shit.

All of America's problems make sense when you realize the entire country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

A 4.9 earthquake just hit Charlotte when Clinton dropped the mic. #DNC

I got my daughter the wrong Calvin and Hobbes books and now she won't shut up about how God's will figures into the social contract.

I was just at the supermarket—did you know the 1% even have their own milk?

Your mouth gets dry when you're spilling lies. #Rubio

The source of the CNN report that the suspects were "dark-skinned" is revealed to be Their Own Ingrained Racism.