Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Everything is a whole lot easier when quitting isn't an option.
Someone in this house has found a way to shit so hard that it gets on the underside of the toilet seat. And I cannot claim responsibility.
Ass, gas, or laughs.
Any diet that excludes Fruity Pebbles is complete shit.
Put a hoodie on today and found a double peanut m&m in the pocket. Hard to admit I have a problem when I feel like I WON THE FUCKIN LOTTERY.
Saw a girl wearing Beats while she was jogging and it looked like she needed every ounce of strength not to fall over from their weight.
Somtimes I blow kisses to the old ladies at the grocery store. Not the ones who have lipstick on their teeth, though. They are gross.
For those unaware, "handsome" was one of the highest compliments you could pay a woman.
Mom just asked me if the squid on the front of my shirt was a scorpion.
Family Matters S02E04: Eddie runs a hooker over with his car and Carl helps hide the body. Laura saves up to buy a new VCR.