It'd take some chutzpah to go around calling yourself Billy Idol before you'd sold a single record.

My value system is half Boston Brahmin, half Los Angeles Reform Jew and half British Novel. (My value system doesn't care about math.)

Husband chides his wife for not holding their son's hand, not their son for not holding his wife's hand. That must be a fun marriage.

Salt air, freshly cut lawn, Coppertone. It's the glorious summertime scent trifecta.

At the rich people car wash, classin' up the joint. pic.twitter.com/GxcVG2Ju7x

Restaurant crowded with nationals from a cuisine's country of origin *not* an automatic recommendation. Some foreigners have bad taste, too.

Don't let the fact that you've never been to France prevent you from telling me about the French.

Rainbow Connection is swell, but the exquisitely dashed hopes of Waking Up Alone makes it my Paul Williams favorite.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_7QcJXhmis …

@angelchrys What's charming is that you saw right past them to the non-insane furnishings.

There's no way these people consider a dinner party complete without a little ouija board action. pic.twitter.com/t9dXrJ4HXY

Porn performers are all designated as 'stars' and I can't decide if that means they've got a really great union or a really lousy union.

@reneegold1 Haha -- post-1990 I usually like two or three tracks on each record.

I've been feelin' vintage Madonna lately.

This is always true: The script for a picture with four or more credited writers will be abysmal.

I can cope with a grandmother writing a check at the market. But a dude who's maybe 45? No fucking way.

Correction: as per @euanrellie, bumper-to-bumper *traffique*

I used to be better at remembering where I parked. If I wander much longer, I expect manna to start falling from heaven.

They're playing 'Chiquitita' and now I'm in the mood for a banana. (I know Chiquitita is a different name than Chiquita, but there it is.)

Friend: 'Were you popular in high school?'

Me: 'No, not really, I was just friends with everyone.'

Friend: 'Isn't that popular?'

Me: 'No'

When you realize you're in a bad neighborhood because of all the police everywhere.