@mattigee's (Matt Gardan) most faved Tweets...
Twitter deleted all the fake follower accounts and my follower count dropped to 0.
Even my mum was a spam bot.
Oh the shame.
Even my mum was a spam bot.
Oh the shame.
10
Me: you want more cereal?
4yo: yes but no cucumber.
(note to self: time to cut back on the acid in his cordial)
4yo: yes but no cucumber.
(note to self: time to cut back on the acid in his cordial)
9
Option A:
Good Champagne doesn't give you a hangover.
Option B:
I'm still drunk.
Oh lookey .... A unicorn.
Good Champagne doesn't give you a hangover.
Option B:
I'm still drunk.
Oh lookey .... A unicorn.
8
4yo: Can we go to Switzerland?
Mummy: you've already been. When you were still in my tummy.
4yo: yes but I can't remember so can we go back
Mummy: you've already been. When you were still in my tummy.
4yo: yes but I can't remember so can we go back
8
ahh the sweet sounds of screaming from the bedroom.
Kids must be up.
Or this apartment is about to be on the 7 o'clock news.
Kids must be up.
Or this apartment is about to be on the 7 o'clock news.
8
oh hi crazy deadline! How are you?? Man it's been a while... I really missed you. (no no I didn't have plans this weekend)
7
ahhh Saturday, let the gentle chaos wash over me.
Scream louder kids, I can't hear you...
that's better.
Scream louder kids, I can't hear you...
that's better.
7
No no NO!
It's too early for the spawn to be up.
This is daddy's twiddle time.
ok, clearly that came out wrong.
It's too early for the spawn to be up.
This is daddy's twiddle time.
ok, clearly that came out wrong.
7
If you stop and think about it Tuesday is really more painful & annoying than Monday. But no one knows bc it hired really good spin doctors
7
4yo on family trees. (upon seeing a butterfly)
Daddy why do "shoo! fly, dragonfly and butterfly all have the same surname."
Daddy why do "shoo! fly, dragonfly and butterfly all have the same surname."
6
right, these kids ain't going to feed themselves. Saddle up spawn! Time to terrorise the cheesemonger!
6
5yo: Daddy I have 3 super powers. I'm strong
I can run fast
And I have the hiccups.
(another year older but just as adorable)
I can run fast
And I have the hiccups.
(another year older but just as adorable)
4
4yo : what happens when you die?
me: you go to heaven
4yo : are there dinosaurs in heaven
me : eat your breakfast
me: you go to heaven
4yo : are there dinosaurs in heaven
me : eat your breakfast
4
4yo: (up way past his bedtime) Daddy I'm half way to sleep.
I need to go straight away to bed.
No brushing teeth. I'm too tired.
Zzzzz
I need to go straight away to bed.
No brushing teeth. I'm too tired.
Zzzzz
4
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