• Hello!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your likes and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you like, retweet, or follow someone.
Okay, you have been unsubscribed.
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Gift @mattytalks Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 6,842
    • LIKES
    murderwasdaceesMrHolyJohnnaptime_andbeerMelanieShebelbpdagasmanaustinIeesarahstnnickdilillo
    • 3,580
    • RETWEETS
    Kindermenusachaschmurderwasdaceesmakc050Dorest0rmiamGlennnCyclone_Barbercomethrus
    DahFahQusayDanMentosMike_BianchiABurgerADaySecks_manAceMakesWordsRistolableKyle_LippertrobdelaneyGimpySunshine____
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Why are they called territorial disputes and not ground beef

    • 4,451
    • LIKES
    sphoorti13arjundotnarenbalajiThe_LnKhuensaoJake_May15ellenajaynaaturtledovejones
    • 2,939
    • RETWEETS
    sphoorti13RaphaelaBohmerSirCaasticr0unakKarrrmaineMichaelDelBaycatpenisughHugs
    BumpinGemzDanielRCarrillonatewentworthPeachCoffinLeeMifsudOhNoSheTwitnt
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch

    • 5,291
    • LIKES
    moonunitluxMattTheMedicSarcasticsapienrhakkatronicchompy_jrsaraah_hannaahOfficelifesmaiapearson_
    • 2,737
    • RETWEETS
    tjcirimelerachel_oconnor9elizabeth_felscblythe002FatBottomGirl1AJslackiekellynadinejcernelli
    Lisabug74robfeevenomjunkie2
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Twitter isn't about followers you guys it's about retreating so deeply into your web persona that you alienate everyone who ever loved you

    • 3,222
    • LIKES
    blakejpmartigrosenator_gabrielOfficelifesHyperEntityStoodTooCloseoh_mywishreillysuxx
    • 1,941
    • RETWEETS
    horrorxpopParanoid_360ArkangelouAHedFullOfDrimsBrittLCOfficelifesAJslackiebriezy4u
    OhNoSheTwitntDryDickRando__WeeabooGenocide__WarmCigarette__
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    My mom found out that I was smoking the weed and she told me to "pack my bags" LOL it's called a bowl mom and it's already packed

    • 3,567
    • LIKES
    maghorkyholdmyweedsJake_May15agentkylehappybear_69marisanelson77__tylleraambaaa
    • 1,818
    • RETWEETS
    Jake_May15JackkhanleyDanielleCosmoHalit_awaleWarWizardteejo_kasimhardawaycraigclaytonsea
    Jenny4ashleyCameron_SladeOhNoSheTwitntLeeMifsudGoodNapsdlicjvasedgodMrSpoonicornGHOSTBONESA_JahhWeedcoffin__
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Thanks to Obamacare my son has been formally diagnosed as a gamer and we can finally afford the Mountain Dew he needs to stay alive

    • 3,531
    • LIKES
    DamnDirtyGrapesteedwkwkorpisporeguyaWybackwastakenjpcodyPhydeaux_parsadastjerdi
    • 1,705
    • RETWEETS
    DamnDirtyGrapeskwkorpiclosetsnakemister_frijolessmzulfarisfivetanleyDailyDileoTheWeedFather
    SteveDutzy
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend

    • 4,634
    • LIKES
    amelialikesyouvivaconnorsnoloenJake_May15reppocssid_pinkHenryKraemerLandoKardashian
    • 1,685
    • RETWEETS
    hairicaaaMariaHeineggEMTGn1emilieriksensignehoffrunarossteffenbergstKimMidtlie
    thepunningmanWildeThingyradtoria
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    RT @boring_as_heck: Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I'd like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad.

    • 1,665
    • RETWEETS
    GreenOrangePurpleOrangePurpleTurquoiseTurquoiseBlue
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    What idiot called them funerals instead of Tragic:The Gathering

    • 3,109
    • LIKES
    ThiefreetayIorbuecheJake_May15kleemartcathymholmesdarthsmauIcoolbiRdpicsBurds_1
    • 1,532
    • RETWEETS
    tayIorbuechehernameisjuanughHugskleemartdarthsmauIjamberg_eatmebeatmel4dytsunnydere
    jonnysunHome_Halfway101Racey
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    I just met you/And this is Swayze/But there's a corner/It's not for Baby

    • 1,704
    • LIKES
    danjan13PhilNista_adam_17ProbgoblinTheBigPahutgilliland789Mike_BianchiLivStadler
    • 1,473
    • RETWEETS
    Heldin90summerbrooke16moose_gritsdavidwmcevoymeggg_nnrobo_junkieTheBigPahuMike_Bianchi
    PetPinkElephantburgerkrangpartiallyproCognitive_DissBeeStapler
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Tyler the Creator changes his name to Tyler the Job Creator and is instantly #2 in the republican polls until they realize that he is black

    • 1,640
    • LIKES
    hairicaaaflan_clubfuddlemarkthetrilliantwin__halloweenbearsMikeACollierlawrenlikesitiwearaonesie
    • 1,368
    • RETWEETS
    yokaiulaniit_brian_millerthetrilliantwin__lawrenlikesitP_DitzlerClamDivefuckutomstretchyXcheeze
    Youriquadrewtoothpastedudehugs
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    I've got to say this John Wilkes Photo Booth takes amazing Headshots

    • 2,176
    • LIKES
    abbycohenwlshriyanevatiaHwy99BossMollyDeneauquartzlionEatJokeRepeatkjzekeJ2nMishrule
    • 1,366
    • RETWEETS
    abbycohenwlLoophole1800TheGardenOfEdon_lelabella_LexieB2AlsoKnownAsAJAuntVegassleepyfishie
    EndhooSSaxMousekantological__nice_mustard
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    I love libertarianism because it combines the "don't tell me what to do" attitude of a teen with economic understanding of a child

    • 2,277
    • LIKES
    HanerMarkJake_May15BoyNamedShitCapitolStandardJermHimselfishBurds_1jayjancflan_club
    • 1,317
    • RETWEETS
    BoyNamedShitBurds_1flan_clubfuddlemarkSuperIncreibleOnimozFiaca4HeyOpossumh__
    deathtoscumbagsSteveDutzy
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in

    • 3,087
    • LIKES
    IanClark95_Cosmic_OwlEoisitcaitlinleeanpostcrunkNickSmithhAlexCronkitewhydontyoucome
    • 1,294
    • RETWEETS
    iskndrzlkrnn_sixurgentdevinmiIesmlesmoraleszacashtxnKonAlmightyMatt_BernankeClinton_Lincoln
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    I couldn't bring myself to kill my own turkey so I put baggy pants and a hoodie on one and a cop shot it for me

    • 2,043
    • LIKES
    JermHimselfishBurds_1thewonderfrogERICTR0Nfuddlemarkcardull0chris_montoyabvanecko12
    • 1,265
    • RETWEETS
    mokieblkmskvegetablefarmerantiquetruckerMikeRusseknascar_lensDebtobranosnalemnor
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Horton Hears Voices but doesn't have access to affordable mental healthcare so he will likely end up committing a violent crime #SadDrSeuss

    • 940
    • LIKES
    MikeACollieraPlaceInHellClamDivestefanguimondSageThornbrughWhatTheH_ckJimboleemZane_Stephens
    • 1,234
    • RETWEETS
    ClamDivefavstar_historystefanguimondmdjacksondallaslikeabeecat__queeflatina8000erlend_sandoyshaftment
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Girl did it hurt when you fell from heaven? No, cool. Then let's talk about who's going to pay for my fucking roof

    • 2,028
    • LIKES
    kleemartcoolbiRdpicsdarthsmauIBurds_1halloweenbearsWallieBeatsPartbabeswtlyevil
    • 1,164
    • RETWEETS
    fuddlemarkhalloweenbearsjonahscohenbeefman138kennybushbeansRydog57__ChristianIn480pCameron_54
    havingafatdaymountainlexweedhitler
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    A very busty woman whispers to me "I want you to tell me if these look real" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing

    • 2,479
    • LIKES
    sporeguyaJediMasterJamsBronzeGunnerpistolwistolclosetsnakeizzyrozeTomatoBeardLanceDLG
    • 1,129
    • RETWEETS
    AhmadTheAshrafpshsarahTomatoBeardsmzulfarisMarkWallBangbsubakILrutgerafterhourtoomanytoes
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    Do you guys want me to do a psychic trick for you? Think of something,think really hard don't tell me what it is.Ok Ready? I Fucking Hate it

    • 2,268
    • LIKES
    trillbinspooky_gh0st9898kittyNotActuallyJakelilpupcoopStutzBobcolonelclownBucoffe
    • 1,082
    • RETWEETS
    Burds_1lucaschristophrlilpupcoopInigomontoyaawavvesbonerW8nForS8nCameron_Hellbitchmale
    Benesh_shruglordcrushingbortcollegebenPajamaBen_Weedcoffin__dinogorecmwfgypbvkjxpzKMdhc__
  • mattytalks
      Tugboat @mattytalks

    If you don't have empathy then discretion is a good alternative

    • 1,144
    • LIKES
    beepscottjehlcolorswizardBlahsmack__pinupteacherWhatTheH_ckeldritch_entityWhoopdeedoo22
    • 995
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyBlahsmack__tylermcjunkin26slogsdonGerryMarkNortonHarryKaratzALL6SENSESY3W_TREE
    davedittell
@mattytalks

@mattytalks

A Hooker with a Heart of Gold

Gift 128x128

Like @mattytalks’ tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Gift them Pro!