It's so fucked up that sex isn't real but the countryside is overrun with handsome well hung centaurs

@upsettummy it's so weird that people always think I am talking specifically about them when I definitely am *raises eyebrow*

In order to get a wife for me my family had to dowry 3 ironic retweets, favstar bonus features and 7 virgin dick pics

@cryptoterra they all suck it's a trick

*reads some tweets lol* this is stupid

@lowenaffchen @weedguy420boner you know a baby saying very adult things is a pretty good comedy idea I just made up

@realtraphorse you know I am

@realtraphorse I'm having romantic horse remorse

@realtraphorse the stickers were an implied proposal but you ignored them so now I'm married to a wet shoe I found on the sidewalk

@realtraphorse Also, welcome back you wonderful thing Ilu <3

@realtraphorse you are so needy, this e-lationship is exhausting

@realtraphorse here's one I have been working on..... "shut up"

@dub_step_dad that's you irl

This guy bumped into me and some red bull shot out of my luscious boobs into his mouth and now he wants to marry me

@regisl I lived in a very cold climate forever and I still wore teva's even in the winter

@mmesurly @regisl @rigamarock I am a sexy lady with huge dumb boobs full of powerade

@regisl @rigamarock good because I'm not emotionally ready to see how you might dress if it was

@regisl @rigamarock THE WORM HAS TURNED REGIS, TASTE THE COLD STEEL

@rigamarock you are a human can of gasoline

#tweeliketheoppositegender I ate 7 grapes today and now look how large my butt is pic.twitter.com/pWbdoMySUn