Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Warranties for electronics are junk designed to sucker people into buying TWO units in order to "replace" the device later when it breaks.
Twister In My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants
I would never want to meet Anthony Kiedis because I am pretty sure he would try to have sex with me.
Twitter has taught me just how many abused children there are in the world that now are on the internet.
Michael Jackson's jacket from the video 'Thriller' sold for $1.8 million. Also in the news, Tito just sold his soul for five bucks.
Owen Wilson's nose should be blurred during daytime TV hours.
It's Monday so quit yer bitchin' and go make some money.
Why do I make up individual voices for each of my dogs? Because I pay attention to detail!
'Go Daddy' really should try using some sexy women for spokespeople instead of those two long haired men they have been pushing as "hot".
Anyone that is planning on starting a career in psychotic killing, I'll DM you the address of the douche across the way and supply an alibi.
This statement is designed to commiserate with everyone's displeasure of Monday.
I wonder how many Facebook friends I would lose if I posted an album titled "Just Me" but only featured a bunch of scrotum shots.
If shitting a pint of blood five minutes after you eat puts you in a "good mood", then yeah... Arby's IS good mood food.
My wife wants a divorce because I am drunk and OWNING twitter!
I'd like to apologize for any nonsense I say at this moment... Nah, fuck that.... Suck it!
The good side of Wal-Mart is that it soaks up the uglies.
The term 'beautiful' gets thrown around far too often these days on Facebook. #lieswetell
If working up a good joke is like working up a good turd then I'm full of shit.
Deep, dark confession: I've never cared for Cameron's solo, second-stanza of 'Hey, Batta, Batta, Swing' in the slightest.
Husband, Graphic Designer, 3-D Modeler/Animator, and general idiot.