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i just wanna skip work and go to the muppet movie
buying tampons and gushers, guy behind me in line is ultra grossed out.
Taking a 20 min survey with a guy who can't read and has a stutter only to find out you don't qualify for the focus group about cheese. . .
Excited 4 the special ass day tomorrow
having a sense of purpose helps you live longer, while having a sense of porpoise helps you swim longer
This cat is hella cute but it's farts constantly
I'm really digging flossing lately. It's like a treasure hunt
Come to the party empty handed. Leave the party with a 6 pack and half a wheel of Brie. Scoooore. My friends rule
"I will lay you out like Abraham and Isaac 'cept ain't no angel comin this time" - best and most creative insult of the week said to me
had wheels for 1 week now, but only had road rage for 7 days of those.
swear i caught a cold on top of another cold, while its freezing cold outside. cold-ception.
socially awkward, music loving, partially fluent in english
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