Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
According to BBC News there's a rare bird on the loose in Scotland. I assume that means she's sober and appropriately dressed?
0.00001% <-- the percentage of people that buy Kingsize Rizla to make 'normal' cigarettes with.
Audit be Magic
1 Peel a potato
2 Coat in melted sugar and insert stick
3 Wrap in clear plastic
4 Hand to Trick or Treater as Toffee Apple
Ironic that Anne Widdecombe is campaigning against binge drinking when it makes her seem more attractive.
Roses are multicoloured, violets just melt, I've taken acid, look at that dog.
"Bring on Ba... Oh balls..."
The reason that Barry from Eastenders has been typecast as Barry from Eastenders, is that he's Barry from Eastenders in real life.
If Twitter has taught me anything, it's that normal people are far more interesting and entertaining than 99.9% of celebrities are.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got amnesia,
Do you want to hear a poem about flowers?
Ashley Young was subbed. Apparently the elastic had gone in his Speedos.
Getting tired of Heston Blumenthal. Why doesn't he cut the crap and knock out a decent fry up, instead of a Death Star made of liquid pork?
3 hopes for football today:
1) We win
2) We give Robin hell
3) We get back to London before their fans do
I don't care how important you think you are, I refuse to take you seriously if you were a tie with a short sleeve shirt.
The difference between twitter and crack is that one is so addictive it takes over and destroys your life, whereas the other is crack.
Don't take me too seriously, it's really not worth it. My Twitter is open, no DM please, they won't be answered.