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@mcritz's (Michael Critz) most faved Tweets...
mcritz
The early bird gets the worm.

Also, the last slice of cold pizza.
@mcritz
mcritz
She needs to stop flagging all of her e-mail as “highest priority.” Her kitten is not that cute.
@mcritz
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jaredwsmithmniksmashedpotatoesLisaG732preciousmarthMODATLorisaysHemiRT5pt7Deconilehas2b_christyvtnsltwnbedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
It’s not easy being a Texan in Boston. I say things like, “All y’alls ah wicked retahded.”
@mcritz
11
ErinmackangleofattacksmashedpotatoespreciousmarthMODATLorisaysHemiRT5pt7has2b_christyvRainbowEclipsebedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
“We can’t hire him,” I explain. “I know he cheats at Words With Friends.”
@mcritz
10
ErinmacksummersumzlizinlapenblethTimmyJamesPizzoCcovertheearthelizabitebedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
I’ve learned from Hollywood that there’s no problem that large explosions can’t solve.

This includes laundry & dental hygiene.
@mcritz
9
penblethhisnamesLenJeeNeeBeeripslichkimproperThaozillabedheadblondeYayaaSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
My vocabulary is uncredible!
@mcritz
9
summersumzpenblethripslichelizabiteImAVeronicakimproperbedheadblondeRanGTSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
In New England Dunkin' Donuts isn’t just a coffee shop; it’s a unit of measurement. “Go three Dunks down and it’s on the right.”
@mcritz
9
Trick_or_tweetMeetingBoyeugemwiltomsteciukHemiRT5pt7ripslichbedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
It’s been so long that I’d settle for a single entendre.
@mcritz
8
msteciukBlue_CrabpenblethlefauxfroghisnamesLendavisloveripslichwilto
mcritz
My relationship with sanity has changed status to “it’s complicated.”
@mcritz
8
ripslichPunkrockiejaredwsmithsummersumzLorisaysbedheadblondeRanGTSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
That Flickr pool needs some chlorine.
@mcritz
8
hisnamesLenTrick_or_tweetBlue_CrabwiltoharratonMeetingBoybedheadblondeRanGT
mcritz
Mayor of the bathroom.
@mcritz
8
Trick_or_tweetMeetingBoystrettakimproperThaozillaRanGTbedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
I like M & Ms so much that I also eat all the 3s, Ws, and Es that come in the bag.
@mcritz
8
Trick_or_tweetbevogirlKnowShitripslichThaozillaRanGTbedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
“Grande espresso macchiato.”

I shouldn’t need coffee to be awake enough to order Starbucks.
@mcritz
8
LisaG732jaredwsmithpreciousmarthMODATHemiRT5pt7has2b_christyvRainbowEclipsebedheadblonde
mcritz
“Try not to think of it as a flooded basement,” I consoled. “Tell everyone you’re ‘living biblically.’”
@mcritz
7
Trick_or_tweetripslichkambrockCheVolaywiltomnikBettyLies
mcritz
Maknig typpos.
@mcritz
7
ImAVeronicajaredwsmithripslichAmyPretzlYayaaRanGTbedheadblonde
mcritz
It is really hard to be badass wearing mittens.
@mcritz
7
msteciuklizinlaMODATstrettaDeconileripslichbedheadblonde
mcritz
Avatard:
1. (n) a user who does not customize their avatar.
2. (n) the default avatar image.
@mcritz
7
mnikLisaG732preciousmarthMODATHemiRT5pt7ripslichbedheadblonde
mcritz
"no god" is a trending topic. I’m so pleased that Twitter found Nietzsche.
@mcritz
7
ErinmackTrick_or_tweetpreciousmarthMODATHemiRT5pt7bedheadblondeSpooky_Johnson
mcritz
I got stuck between some crazed Red Sox fans and a loud schitzophrenic on the subway. By the time I left I couldn't tell them apart.
@mcritz
7
penblethmnikangleofattackpreciousmarthMODATHemiRT5pt7bedheadblonde
mcritz
I’m looking forward to telling my grandkids how the Winter Olympics used to be outdoors.
@mcritz
6
penblethripslichjaredwsmithsummersumzRanGTbedheadblonde
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