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giving up sex puns and innuendos. it's going to be a long, hard lent.
what's the protocol for when you accidentally spit on someone when you're talking or laughing? act unknowing? wipe it off? burst into tears?
we just SPRINTED to the gas station to buy two cases of busch light before 2 AM
benedict cumberbatch sounds like one of the names saladfingers names his finger puppets
if 1 more person from the north makes a comment about how the south handles the snow, I swear I'LL THROW FRIED CHICKEN AND SWEET TEA AT YOU
the perfect pregame? giving blood.
not really sure how John Tucker was ever cool cause he's wearing an Abercrombie polo.
sometimes i wish my real friends didn't follow me so i could say some of the absurd (disturbing) things i think of. :( #incognito #sadtweet
the gas station attendant just passive aggressively made fun of me for buying moscato but I still win because he's a gas station attendant.
You know how some things are different, but you can't explain how? That's my life.