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R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
At what age does Ryan Gosling have to change his name to Ryan Goose
There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads
Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.
R.I.P. 2011 (2011-2011)
WHY was Mario Kart not called "Mario Speedwagon"
This is a pretty shitty flash mob. It's in my living room, only my family showed up, and they're just telling me to stop drinking.
Women are like snowflakes: they can't drive
Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
By the time he was my age, Lee Harvey Oswald had already shot a PRESIDENT. i haven't even shot a normal person
PMS should be called "ovary-acting"
Meth addicts must pay for drugs with all the money they get from the tooth fairy
"I" before "e" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
Isn't it annoying when you're having dinner with your in-laws and they don't exist because no one loves you enough to marry you?
If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography
I think the most fucked up thing about the Catholic Church is that they force Bishops to only move in diagonals
I recently adopted a highway, since I am unfortunately unable to have a biological highway
it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom