When a girl who's prettier than me touches my boyfriend I need to be stroked with a damp washcloth behind the ears till I calm down

good job leron "Jamarcus Russell" james pic.twitter.com/ii58dT0Jgu

Remember guys. Voldemort was winning until the last book. #game7

@meganamram let that play for 18 years and you've effectively been raised in my household.

"it's all in your head" yea and some illnesses are all in the kidneys whats your point

if denial cured depression don't you think the person you're telling to 'just get over it' would have done so already?

Whatever you are doing right now, the Bollywood romcom I'm watching is better.

"CHANGE OF PLAAAN!"
--Alcohol

.@kingjames 🚽

Woke up with a strange cloud over my head today. Hoping I can walk it off

Vine is a unique platform because we get to see actors and comedians relish in themselves

So glad they're making a sequel to A Dolphin's Tale! Can't wait to find out what happened to him!!!!!!

I am writing a 3,000 word defense of Grey's Anatomy. I don't even know why.

😕 RT @kumailn My mom & Tywin Lannister have very similar views on marriage.

i want to beat someone up. does anyone want to get beat up. im not very strong but im mean

It's insane that lollygagging doesn't mean gagging on lollypops.

@thegooddavis @twittels PUT A DOLLAR IN THE BOX. NOW.

@kentremendous hey mike @twittels is playing scar tissue again. #whistleblower

I think @meganamram 's devotion to a single avatar should be applauded. We've all slagged our way through 6-7 in the last 3 years.

@meganamram affirmative action at work again!