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Congrats to Oprah! Just heard she made the cover of next month's O Magazine!!
"Emancip8or Boi" by Aberil Lavincoln
To all you fathers out there - hold on tight to your masking tapes. You never know when they're gonna go missing. <3 <3 <3
Doing a little late Father's Day shopping. Do they sell "World's 5,389,462,470th Greatest Dad" mugs?
My perfect heaven: you die and fall into a field full of Post-It Notes upon which are written every idea you've ever forgotten to write down
DAMN it I just painted an amazing picture but accidentally painted a lens cap over the whole thing
ARBEIT MACHT FREI (Sponsored Tweet)
I just bought the NSA's new app, Nineteen-Eighty-Foursquare
Leaving my body to religion
I AM BECOME DEATH THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS (Sponsored Tweet)
"Hodor" - Hodor
You'd never guess but my Tom's are the poor people pair
Las Vegas is what would happen if a spam filter came to life
I can't sleep because when I wake up it's gonna be Throwback Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!
I call my vagina Denny's because seniors eat free on Tuesdays
You know what they say: big feet, tiny clown car
If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time and kill Hitler and all of the Jews and gypsies and gay people
it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom