Motherhood has made me question my sanity.

"My babies aren't babies anymore. I think it's time to make another one." Says the man who sleeps through the night & eats hot meals.

Since #Disney bought #LucasFilm, does this mean we finally get a Star Wars on Ice?

The original Octomom? /cc @github http://twitpic.com/3ejs8k

Why isn't there a laundry emoji? This is pretty relevant to my life, there really ought to be one.

@thebloggess I'll be your happy pill! Hugs  http://twitpic.com/cbphem 

Bourbon & cherry Coke, because I'm a girl.

Parsnips, man http://t.co/LKXUbNW7

shutting down cell service to prevent a protest? not awesome. hacking in the name of civil rights? def awesome. totally intrigued by #opBART

I can birth two kids with no drugs like a boss, but fiberglass splinters turn me into a wimp. #boatlife

This 💗 RT @thebloggess:  http://thebloggess.com/2013/05/happy-whatever/ … Saluting every damn person out there, mother or not.

It's all fun & games until somebody eats the art supplies.

Ev: "Why is she sad mom?"
Me: "Just some grownup stuff, sweetie."
Ev: "She got fruit stuck in her teeth again!? Oh maaaaaan!"

My husband is the best. Seriously. From 3,000 miles away he still reads them a bedtime story ❤  http://twitpic.com/c6wu0r 

Sometimes I really miss sleep and pooping in peace and not sharing my snack.

Ev to Siri: "send text message to my mommy *pause* Fuzzball is pooping *pause* question mark."

430a panic attack because I cannot find Ev ANYWHERE... then Claude reminds me she's at his mom's for a sleepover.

"I'm gonna put Cordy down for a nap." http://t.co/XgVmEMoS

We can spend $569,000 EACH on 110 missiles to bomb another country, but we don't have any money for NPR, PBS, or PP. C'mon guys, priorities.

"Dammit!"
"What'd you say, Ev?"
"I said 'dammit,' mom."
"Why did you say that? Do you know what it means?"
"It means tuba in Spanish!"