Apparently Alex Ferguson has phoned the Police tonight..

He claims that he's been the victim of a Fellaini.

Breaking News: Arsene Wenger has been arrested for stealing £24 million from an old aged pensioner. #Arsenal

What did one O2 customer say to another? Nothing.

I have a new Gareth Bale drinks holder in my car...

It carries ten mugs. #FOYS

Kim Kardashian's baby will be the second thing that her vagina has given birth to. The first was her career.

Stoke City are interested in signing Michael Owen.It's a good match, considering neither of them have played football for the past few years

Although Liverpool didn't win a trophy this year, Luis Suarez still managed to taste European success.

Massive game for Man City fans tonight. Facing the club they used to support.

Unconfirmed rumours circulating that RVP has handed in a transfer request. He doesn't agree with the direction Man United are going.

Made me laugh http://t.co/hblE5MMo

First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires.

Somewhere, there is a Scouser with a lamp and one wish left.

spurs line up.
23 Cunt
13 Judas cunt
26 cunt
28 cunt
32 big hair cunt
03 monkey cunt
07 cunt
08 cunt
11 cunt
14 cunt
10 CUNT

My sources tell me that d empty seats in d Chelsea end at Wembley will be filled after 8pm as most Chelsea fans only show up after 2001

Tottenham have won the league twice in their entire history. Arsenal have won the league twice at White Hart Lane! #ArsenaI #FOYS

What does QPR stand for?..

Quickest Premiership Relegation.

If you ever google "Gary Oldman" for fuck's sake, don't forget the "R".

Is this our new Kit??? I like it #arsenal #gooners pic.twitter.com/RJ3D7uTUXx

Walcott's Goal has been confirmed as the fastest goal of the season - beating RVP's 33-second effort for Man U v West Ham in Nov #Arsenal

51 years without a league title for Tottenham. Make that 5-2 #arsenal

Mancini has said their will be a new face arriving at eastlands,Tevez and Lescott are fighting over who gets it