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@radioandrock @mariemccrayxxx @marteeeen @mashable @masshole69 @mattel_powers @mattgmills @matthewziff @mattyb327 Thanks for the #ff love!
Every time I have to sacrifice punctuation to fit a msg into140 char's. Somewhere a grammarian rolls over in their grave. #andidiealittle
Like my fan page in the next 5 minutes and I'll write a poem about you in 140 characters. #thenewhaiku
http://t.co/h8YZ9nde
Of course. YOU are DEFINITELY the one who'll win the lottery. Didn't get a chance to buy a ticket today. I was really busy hunting unicorns.
Michelle Bachman on tv at the gym. She's got the crazy eyes. But the crazy goes away for a micro second each time she blinks. #blinkingitout
It's too hot out for a penguin to be just WALKIN' AROUND!! http://instagram.com/p/Yu_8Xao8Tt/
Animals are affected by music. Proof? Every time I play anything remotely punk rock at home my pets break shit.
"When I was a kid it was illegal to drive a car without a tie on!" #drunkuncle #thatsfancy
Twitter wants to know if I know Britney Spears. No, Twitter. I do not. I HAVE however seen her vagina. #waytagobrit @britneyspears
My autocorrect has started changing "hugs" to "gigs". Time to rearrange some priorities? Lol
When some stranger tells me to smile it inspires me to deliver a swift punch in the junk as opposed to a smile. #comeupwithabetterlineutwit
Just returned a pair of boots in favor of buying a hard wood steam cleaner. Wtf is happening to me?!?! #allgrownup #effthis
@davezula @ap Well, shit. Now I'll feel like a failure all day. I've never eaten anything before it died. #getonyourgame #ambition
Why, no, Twitter. I DON'T want to follow Paul Ryan. Anywhere... Especially not in to the future of this country. #voteobama
I'll follow you back! Every one of you matters to me. Helper of accountants. Lover of small animals and waffles. Proud reject of Karaoke Battle USA #ABCkaraoke
Stats can't be shown as @meredithmchenry has never signed in to Favstar.
