"My best friend is Irish, but I swear the guy can't keep his hands off a vintage Christmas sweater." #newbetterstereotypes @dresdencodak

Cain, Perry, Bachmann all claimed God told them to run for President, and all are out of the race. God is hilarious. (via @kellyoxford)

Mitt Romney won't reveal his tax plan because it involves killing all the Jedi. (via @dresdencodak)

Every dumbass statement Romney's made? He was well-rested & alert. Now imagine him bleary, roused at 3am, in a crisis. (via @pattonoswalt)

@blakehuggins lol Considering it contains its own filibuster of sorts, I agree.

@cameronstanley @cbuchholtz @evilpreston @imharvey If this happens, it will be forever known as The Council of Dicks.

@dresdencodak Then you'd have to create new movie titles featuring skeleton and/or scimitar puns.

Logic weeps every time a person compares guns to something that can kill you but is not explicitly made JUST to kill you. (via @devincf)

@kumailn Try upgrading to a Sisqo access point.

The Cabin in The Woods as a Choose Your Own Adventure book. pic.twitter.com/IDpw8b1r (via @andrewducker)

Joss Whedon On @mittromney: I feel like this sums up the decision before us.  http://youtu.be/6TiXUF9xbTo 

CERTAINLY NOT INTENTIONAL I’M SURE RT @time: Arizona county lists wrong election date on Spanish-language voter documents (via @fart)

For @justinjhyman & @dauntluss: Artemis is coming to iOS! (via @pocket) http://t.co/5aamQ2cU

Fantastic Voyage: @emilynussbaum on Community, Doctor Who & fandom. (via @pocket & @janeespenson) #longreads http://t.co/MMrUwQQ7

Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap. #cnndebate (via @borowitzreport)

@williammaddox Prove it. With words.

RT @wilw: This bears repeating, especially to anyone who isn't a multi-millionaire, but continues to be anti-#ows: http://t.co/pXpr43pj

RT @csthewriter: Whatever your views of #OWS, you have to realize that restricting press access is symptomatic of a very large problem.

RT @jarednixon: The footballers sure did/didn't football well tonight.

Real artists ship. http://t.co/W9DmGeP6 #stevejobs