My dog's eyes say he's hungry, but his stomach dragging along the floor tells a different story.

All I want is love. And food. Actually I just want food.

idk man I just love pandas

JLNEK (Jy Leef Net Een Keer) - the Afrikaans version of YOLO

I bet Jamie Oliver makes a mean grilled cheese

Whenever someone asks for a followback I have to restrain myself from typing out all the lyrics Gwen Stefani's 'I Ain't No Followback Gurl'.

You're not ugly. Society is.

This pizza tastes like unrequited love.

I'm kind of flattered that you take time out of your day to subtweet mean things about me.

When my dad says "I know where I'm going" it means we're going to get lost

If I do not get a panda onesie for my birthday, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

My dog keeps circling me. Like a shark. It was funny at first, now it's getting a little creepy.

You're the greatest friend I could ever have. Except if I was friends with a talking squirrel. Then you'd be my second greatest friend.

All the other kids were always jealous of my secret handshakes.

Sushi is my kryptonite

Imagine how much material Taylor Swift will have when her ex-boyfriends start getting married.

This brownie smells like obesity and regret.




Joking, it smells like heavenly deliciousness:(

Maybe unicorns are just really good at hide and go seek.

Whoa, people that don't only learn the night before an exam. Whoa.

It makes me sad to think none of my relationships will ever compare to the bond I have with food