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My favorite co-workers in order of best to worst:
I think you see where I'm going with this...
Please people, refrain from the i(insert lame haha) jokes just becuz of Steve Jobs iQuitting.
Watched 3 of the new shows starting this fall. Hated 'em. Debating sabotaging the lives of everyone involved.
I firmly believe that ALL songs can be improved with "WORD!" interjected into any short lull in vocals.
SPOILER ALERT: she dies at the end of Country Strong. -Am I doing this right?- #dummie
"Consider yourself warned, I'm offensive and creative - like handicap porn!" should always be followed by the exaggerated homie self hug. ;)
Ugh! People around me are happy... Make it stop!!
What I learned from watching the latest Xmen installment.... ALWAYS use your hands and a constipated look to show you're using your powers.
I think maybe the world did end. I feel like a zombie right now - and that was the prediction right?
Its morning. Again. Who knew those came so frequently and so early.
Whatever happened to the Pussycat Dolls? I thought for sure those girls would have long illustrious careers.
No, I totally love going to dinner only for you to stare at yer phone. Don't mind me as I fuck the waiter on our table honey.
Baby zombies are so cute!
I've just had my 46321468th cup of coffee and I can say with all authority, that I don't like it. Yuck!
My boyfriend demanded I buy him a new car for his birthday and was unhappy with the model one I got him.
As your girlfriend, I wish you the best of luck at the new job - dog walker.
As your flatmate, you better find a job with real money.
I'm really thinking a ninja would rule as a pet. They could be like a home protector slicing up any intruders/unwanted guests...
I am brainy. I am ingenious. I am clever. I am astute. I am brilliant.
I am holding a thesaurus.
So wait...its not a zing until I say (as obnoxiously as possible) ZIIIIINNG?
This is a tweet.
If you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much got it. Well done.
bubble wrap popper extraordinaire. female wanker. movie snob.