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From a FB friend: "Today is both Chopin and Justin Bieber's birthday. One cancels out the other, so nothing. A normal day."
Starting to really feel the analogy someone made about tweeting feeling like standing in middle freeway screaming at passing cars
Who remembers the Golden Age of twitter when a bunch of shy misfits emerged from the shadows to dance together under the sun?
Please help, I think I'm really sick. Was just flirting with a woman and thinking "I'd really like to see her tweets, I bet they're grand"
Jehovah's Witness lady at my door was kind of pretty so I indulged her and listened to her shpiel. Then I told her about the Great Pumpkin
I whisper bad grammar and misspellings into my sleeping son's ear every night so he doesn't become one of those east coast liberal elitists
Last year, Mitt Romney made more money in 13 hours than the average American makes all year.
Someone who blocked me on Twitter is in front of me IRL. I'm going to invade her personal space.
For all their talk of hating Muslims, Consevatives seem to share their views on women's rights.
Woman next to me just said "I've been a busy little beaver". Took all my restraint not to say "Yes my delightful little strumpet, you have"
I voted for Obama believing I was voting for smart man, not for a black man. The beautiful skin is just a bonus.
My boss just told me I'm awesome but with that awkward pause waiting for reciprocation kind of like the "I Love You" gun to the head.
Noticed a woman smiling at me and thought "I've still got it". Then I remembered I never had it. Then I noticed I'd spilled jam on my pants
The greatest female guitarist of all time is Pat Metheny. She's monkey ugly, though. #kennygjazzfacts
Improvising Saxophonist and Flutist. Collector of shapes. Explorer of the Gray Area Humanist and Cheerful Sad Sack.