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It seems like people lose their minds on the dance floor at weddings. Its like the dancer they never became explodes outward in a supernova
I'm writing a movie that is gonna blow "Gone in 60 Seconds" away. I'm calling it "Gone in 50 Seconds."
I had a bad dream. I was watching iron chef and the secret ingrediant was a muppet
Robin: Holy heaping shit, Batman!
Batman: Watch your vernacular.
Robin: Sorry but that fart smells terrible
Batman: Fuck you, Robin (fart)
Vampires should really be history teachers. I mean, they lived it.
Bad news, I heard Santa crashed his sled and injured 2 reindeer. He was texting while flying. Police holding him. Everyone is fine though.
If a vortex opened up at my house, I'd have a vortex party. Hell, I'd even get it catered.
I heard the Easter Bunny is eggstatic it's Easter.
I had a dream I was riding splash mountain with a yeti. He destroyed the ride before we got to the last drop. I was relieved!
Did Demi Moore sign a deal with the devil? She has not aged in 15 years.
I think the 5 hour energy commercial where the guy can do everything is a sham. He is a jack of all trades and master of none.
I think if extra terrestrials are here to help us, they should step up now.
Co-host of The Fort Podcast http://www.thefortcast.com. Producer on The Ronna & Beverly Podcast http://www.earwolf.com. Music composer. I like trains.