Miles Davis in the wee hours feels like floating down meandering stream lit by a dim but steady moon.

First you're too young to be out on your own, then you're too old to be out on your own.

Hey congrats to us on reaching 400 ppm of CO2 for the first time in 3 million years!

This Falling Skies thing is so ridiculous it's awesome.

Men: The way to a woman's heart is through devotion.
Women: The way to man's heart is through the sternum.

I've heard good things about Hangover III 3D.

This can't be right.

I heard there was a really boring game on earlier.

Typo in the punchline of a tweet? I feel your pian.

If you live in a loft space, smoke weed, and lose your keys, check the freezer first.

Let's not point fingers. How bout we point elbows for a change?

My parrot shouts really loudly to get all the neigbors dogs barking, and then he chuckles to himself. I'm so proud. *sniffle*

This is your brain. This is your br...wait a sec. This is someone else's brain. Beg pardon.

Did someone drop something?

You think you're so fucking special is what I said to my uncle who has a disease that only affects 1 in 200k people.

People who say silence is golden are too polite to say shut the fuck up.

Dear Angels: Anaheim is not, I repeat NOT a part of Los Angeles. Fuck you very much.

Unplug the fucking thing and go home is my tech advice to people who want a fast reponse.

No go ahead and tell me. Just let me know when you get to the part where I'm ostensibly supposed to care.

It's been suggested I listen to music that isn't so dark. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds it is.