'Jurassic Park 4' expected in theaters 2015. Greed finds a way.

Book 2 Game of Thrones (Clash of Kings). Sansa gets hers RT @mikeleffingwell what are great books to help my daughter learn about her period

Future historians will write that America's decline began when we started giving our kids graduation ceremonies for every frickin' grade!

@mikeleffingwell "Jaws"

"I ate the bones" --Jaws #wrongfilmquotes

Coinstar has totally forgotten about the rest of us from the coinblock

A beauty pageant having a question and answer segment makes about as much sense as a presidential debate having a swimsuit competition.

last night i had a dream about electric sheep, but it was probably all that electric mexican food i had before i went to bed.

Babies wearing sunglasses still holds up.

@mikeleffingwell I felt the same way about "The Nerds Who Squirt."

Any dog you've seen in a movie released about 15 or more years ago is now dead. Happy Monday!

The one thing I miss the most about the 1980's is settling all my disputes on the dance floor.

IMHO, this is the greatest behind the scenes look at one of the greatest movies ever - The Shining  http://say.ly/Kfp64bP 

Here at Weird Twitter we've been painstakingly crafting intentional typos since 2010

In hell all of your jokes kill but everyone laughs like Seth Rogen.

For the price of just one pack of cigarettes, you could help one child in need learn how to smoke.

If I was on Jeopardy I would just keep buzzing in & saying "What is love, Alex?" until they had to escort me from the building.

Just saw a man sing “Y’all gonna make me come” to two women. One punched him in the face. He fell backward into a pole. Good morning, NYC!

"###" -Hashtag Inception

I'm hearing a distant tuba, like a comically fat guy is making his way over.