I really don’t know how to describe the saga of the romance between @allcapsbro and Xbox Support. This is what Twitter was invented for.

So baby gimme that toot toot




















Lemme give you that beep beep


















🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

@1password @futurepaul I have no idea what the heck is happening here, but if you could turn this into a romantic comedy I’d watch it.

Baby I can work on my tweets, just give me another chance.

Whew, that was weird. I had a dream I was a law student and had a bunch of dogs and some guy was impersonating me. WEIRD.

@whyofcorso literally 1000 tweets were tweeted, retweeted, and deleted in about 20 seconds.

@amaeryllis also: no sexism, classicism, agism, socio-economic exclusion. All was solved in 2000’s after JT’s “FutureSex/LoveSounds.”

hey girl wearing the same perfume as my exgf you illicit weird feelings from me

YOLO = You Only Live Once
YOKO = You Only Kill Once

Yoko Ono = killed the Beatles once

Coincidence? I THINK NOT

Verify @subtweetcat 2013

What wise words, I wonder who…





Hey! I know who that is! That’s @torrez!





The world is really small you guys.  http://mlkshk.com/r/ODG4.jpeg 

I think I talk to the same 40 people or so on Twitter.

You swept me off my feet  http://bit.ly/110oUU6 

11:12 hug a cat that tweets vaguely

Please fav all of my tweets

People are posting the gruesome pictures from today on Facebook. Lets use a little discretion, ok people?

#bully4darth

Today was really weird you guys. REALLY weird. The first 4 hours were all in slow motion. And I’m pretty sure I saw time.

omg omg omg u guys Doritos Cool Ranch tacos are out today! What happens if you put fish mcbites inside of a cool ranch taco?

Cat sent me a snap of her Bud, so I sent her a snap of mine.