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This is the worst disaster that has ever hit the Superdome.
In the height of poor taste, they put Daniel Day Lewis in an opera box overlooking the stage.
Dear Michele Bachmann: sorry Tom Petty won't let you use "American Girl". I bet Green Day would be happy to let you use "American Idiot".
Lost in the Seth/Onion/First Lady controversy: the Oscar winners who didn't tell their children to go to bed. Those kids are STILL AWAKE!
BREAKING NEWS: Obama announces this was all a joke for May Fools Day, a tradition in his home country of Kenya.
I'm making a movie about the rise of Herman Cain -- it's called "Citizen Herman."
John Wilkes Boothe: Abraham Lincoln Hunter
Ray Bradbury is being justifiably hailed for his great writing, but don't forget he also invented the Creme Egg.
To err is human; to eat dog crap in a movie, Divine.
I'm writing a reboot of Les Miz set in the 60s about a cop who hounds a hippie after he steals an album by Bread just to feed his soul.
Sarah Vowell's real name is Susie Consonant. #ThisAmericanLifeRetractions
President Obama thinks everyone should start "saving" their "daylight". What a snob!
Simpsons writer, everything else watcher. I also wrote the Lego Star Wars specials The Padawan Menace, The Empire Strikes Out and The Yoda Chronicles.