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My wi-fi name is "Bout Dat Life." The time warner tech told me I was one of the realest niggas he ever installed internet for.
You ever have a white guy stare at you so hard you do know if he's being gay or racist?
I remember the first time I saw spinners on a truck. It was like the pope came through the hood. Niggas was mesmerized.
I knew my relationship was over cause whenever I started talkin she would turn on the blender to make a smoothie.
I'm picturing Quincy Jones pointing @ the TV sayin "Look at my baby girl" then someone whispers Mr Jones that's Zooey Deschanel. Not Rashida
Hey comics just so you know "remixing" a joke or tweet is still stealing. Y'all bogus as hell.
When I found out Bow Wow was the new host of 106 I ripped down all his posters. How u gonna quit spittin that fire when u got fans out here!
One time this girl who didn't shave asked me to go down on her. That pussy looked like John Legend taking a nap on the futon.
Alternative comics are some of the most cliquish dudes you will ever meet. FUCK YOU and your gluten free jokes! #fb
When I was a baby my mother accidently dropped me on the hood of a mercury cougar. She said her favorite song came on.
Steph Curry was that light skin dude in the hood who wore a onesie and had all the SEGA games.
Been workin on my screenplay for the Chris Dorner movie. I want Queen Latifah as the lead if she's willing to shave.
I make money on the side shaving cats & selling them to rich folks. By the time they realize it's not hairless I'm on a flight back home.
I wanna be so rich that I send my kids off to boarding school. Then move to france with two models & watch them grow up via skype.
I love when dudes act like they wouldn't date Kim Kardashian. Like that Forever 21 chick you're with would spend 400k on your crusty ass.
Hate when I'm having a good convo w/ someone and they sneak in bible scripture at the end. The whole 30 mins was just an act & I got served.