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If you have been caught by the 'you can see who checked your page' scam, it's time to ask yourself 'Am I too stupid for the internet'
I can honestly say I have given every woman I've slept with multiple sarcasms.
Wife not talking to me , women should realise this is not a punishment , having a lovely evening .
All these new vampire films are bogus, not one of the so called 'Vampires' ever say '' I vant to sock yur blaad''. Not fuckin one .
Dear Ryan Giggs, You fucked her not twitter. You cheated on your wife and kids not twitter. You should sort your life out not twitter.
I think 'Vajazzling' is beautiful, so I have 'Dickorated' myself, basically I've drawn a smiley face on me nob and dipped it in glitter .
Our son lives his life with a ' look Ma , no brains' style .
I've watched twice my body weight in porn today.
I would like twitter to start a rumour that I have been having an affair with Beyoncé .
Ran out of Baileys, so tried mixing whiskey with custard , not the same but fuckin lovely.
Hurricane Sandy has been now upgraded to an Irish summer
My 8000th tweet was ' I might try to give myself a tit wank . ' just about sums up my twitter contribution for the last two years, so proud.
A 'Happy you had your vajayjay stretched day' to all mommies.
Happy Paint Saddies day! Ehhh no. Sappy Paint Daddies Hay ! Hmmmm.
Worst episode of Blackadder ever ! #birdsong #bbc1
#irishsongs When will I be Seamus .
I complete me
If you are lucky enough to have a good Mother it's nice that there is a day to celebrate this, mine was a hate filled mental case .
I love, laugh , hear, react , I never want, I sometimes need. I'm a Bi-Polar explorer and have twitter tourettes. So fuck off .I love you. #coys #thfc
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