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I seriously wanna headbutt everyone today.
If you EVER refer to your flip flop as a thong while talking to me, I WILL slap you in the face with my "thong." (Guess which one I mean)
Someone really needs to invent a heart band aid.... prolly should be called a long island ice tea.
First rule in customer service is fuck you, I'M always right.
Sad panda: fight w/ my roomie about movin out on my own as of Oct. 1st. Happy panda: one step closer to walkin around nekkid WHENEVER I WANT
From now on, when I say "fancy pants," I will be referring to adult diapers.
Bucket list: 1. head butt someone 2. elevator sex 3. sponge skate clean my kitchen floor 4. antique my roommate #notvotedmostlikelytosucceed
Hey boys who are "awesome" with directions.... I'm pretty sure there's a woman's voice on your GPS... what does that tell ya?
Couch, I don't know why you're tempting me to take a nap on you when I woke up less than an hour ago, but I like the way you party.
bbmak is apparently on repeat in this hell of office doom and I am one verse away from calling the ethics line.
If you were any cuter I would have to add you to my stuffed animal rotation and made you my Wednesday night snuggler.
True friendship is when he tells you that your hair smells like stale McDonald's, but he still snuggles you til you fall asleep :)
I really wish my life consisted of more occasions that call for slow dancing.
I would pay a dangerous amount of high fives for a life fast forward button right now.
I would love to walk to the beat of everyone else's drum...... I'm just a rhythm failure :\
I don't wear black bc I'm gothic or morbid or anything like that... I'm just an overly clumsy girl with a love for red wine :\
my sister is a big 08531 upsidedown on a calculator... and not the fun kind.