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Tim @UrbanDouchebag
I keep the fucks I give in the closet next to my unicorn.
263
FAVS
118
RETWEETS
cloudybones @cloudybones
Shoutout to the guy at the ATM making 7 different transactions that all require paperwork and a wooden abacus. Stay gold, Ponyboy.
33
FAVS
11
RETWEETS
ZapMyAss @zapmyass
Ugly people wearing good cologne fucks my shit up
151
FAVS
67
RETWEETS
100 Pound Salmon @osno13
scroll by me all nonchalant, that's cool
59
FAVS
24
RETWEETS
Sweet T @jaagermistress
It's kinda bullshit that no one does the Curly Shuffle anymore.
2
FAVS
1
RETWEET
Tim @UrbanDouchebag
Lesson learned, don't do LSD with midgets.
249
FAVS
90
RETWEETS
Teewee @Wussawilla
Last night I dreamt David Hasselhoff licked my nipple and woke this morning with a strange mix of shame and pride..
77
FAVS
19
RETWEETS
Aristotles @AristotlesNZ
Lets party till the cows come home! Then stop cuz I ain't about to be all partying with a bunch of stupid cows.
115
FAVS
51
RETWEETS
TheBitchuation (MKB) @MsSugar_Kisses
My allergies have my face itching so bad I just motorboat'd the living room carpet... Am I a lesbian now??
370
FAVS
89
RETWEETS