@mkhall's (Marc Kevin Hall) most faved Tweets...
I'm in an Old Testament kind of mood today. Piss me off and I will smite thy ass so hard you'll shit brimstone until your bush is burning.
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If salt comes before noodles in the ramen's ingredient list, you deserve what happens. Related: the water cooler needs another bottle.
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Man, why does 2012 have to be so far away? I could use a good cleansing dose of apocalypse right about now.
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My mirror:" This morning we've replaced this man's face with that of a grizzled old creepy playground stalker. Let's see if he notices."
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People who use a cold snap as evidence against global warming also claim that getting their paycheck disproves the existence of a recession.
3
The audio is up, for those who didn't catch my Morning Edition commentary on the radio: http://bit.ly/cyFq4t
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You know what cuts through the taste of NyQuil? A nice big mug of hot spiced rum and freshly squeezed lime. Also, whee!
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Republicans talk about personal freedoms yet march like robot armies; Democrats talk about working together but organize like a herd of cats
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Oh no the coffee is not working and I was up too late with insomnia and I seem to have forgotten where I left my punctuation help HELP
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I just saw a central-casting Little Old Lady looking at PC parts w/her friends, and opening a can of high-tech whoop-ass on them.
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I have often felt the LOLCats people missed an opportunity in not naming their jargon "nomnomnominclawture."
2
If an axe falls in the office and there's no-left left to feel it, does it still make a pink slip?
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Certain, select female friends appreciate me for my creepy old mannerisms. The rest filed restraining orders.
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I asked my cats if I really had to go work today. They stared at the food bowls, and then back at me. I took that as a yes.
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My therapist: "You need to start being more of an asshole! " Me: "But why?" Therapist: "Then other people will understand you more."
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