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“I’m glad we waited for Godot — but now it’s time to eat!” Estragon said.
Godot laughed and began to carve the turkey. #NaNoWriMoClosers
“Shasta?” But my cat just meowed. She couldn’t talk any more. She had turned back into a normal cat. #NaNoWriMoClosers
Hearing other people's dreams is like looking at a photo album. If I'm not in it and nobody's naked, I just don't give a shit.
This week was awful but at least we stopped making Harlem Shake videos.
I bought string cheese that doesn’t peel into slivers. I’m reduced to eating it in bites. Like an animal.
@libberish *makes board and pastes photos of hundreds of skulls* it’s perfect
Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friends with benefitship #NewCasablancaQuote
To me, adulthood means eating pizza every night, whether I want to or not. I’m a grownup with responsibilities to myself.
BREAKING: @dannypudi is a super nice guy, loves queso. Go Marquette! http://twitpic.com/4ar39w
half life 2 asked me to both defrag my hard drive and update my video driver before running. geez valve, i get enough of that from my wife
Well, at least there aren't any worse batters to face with the bases loaded than BJ Upton.
@halleyrebecca I haven’t seen that. Awful. My sis had naked baby photos of my niece taken. With a gift tag reading “FROM GOD.” That’s worse.
I’ll say this: I’ve had Franklin many dozens of times and found @la_barbecue to be its equal. @tmbbq
@elizabeth_rudd definitely saw “ultrasound” and thought “Elizabeth is pregnant?”
Living well may be the best revenge, but it looks increasingly like I'll have to settle for whatever is second-best.
They should make a “Breaking Bad” spinoff called “Breaking Bread” and it’s a baking contest and none of the “Breaking Bad” guys are on it.
I think my best quality to a potential partner is probably my health insurance.
@melissadavlin 1) I hate those things, 2) "I'll win the Nobel Prize for this!" "In what field?" "I don't care, they all pay the same."
Nobody was surprised when I moved to Austin.
