It doesn't matter how hard you worked on the assignment, your prof will still say "..she did 14 people--sorry, she INTERVIEWED* 14 people.."

Got an email from the English Honours program. No thanks...my current major can barely pay off my student loans. Or keep me alive.

@wenkeee True! Milk and nuts...that's like 2 food groups right there

All I had today so far was a chocolate bar. That's healthy, right? It had almonds...

My can of Guinness Draught is colored & shaped almost exactly like my can of Rockstar Energy. Guess which one I accidentally took to school?

An old couple in front of me just made out on the bus. Then the woman turned around and winked at me.

Ummm...you go, girl...?

Found my ex-roommate's OLD Twitter account from when we lived together. She wrote about me. A LOT. That is all.

I NEVER CRIED DURING GLEE!

I barely tweeted yesterday. I was too busy playing Nintendo games with my boyfriend because we actually have a life.

My best friend and I had to share her DOUBLE instead of QUEEN size bed at her sleepover :( #FirstWorldProblems

OK people, enough with the making fun on Canadians in your Tweets!

Now if only my stupid polar bear will hurry up and take me home already.

Let's just say I broke my dresser door getting busy last night, not because I was pretending to be Link fighting an invisible Ganondorf.

Ever drank a fifth of vodka before a Stats exam? Don't. You might end up being Mike Oxbent, B.A. PHILOSOPHY for the rest of your life.

I hate it when I'm making a lemonade and all those cats don't show up to my yard :(

Found a butterknife wedged between my mattress & the wall. Suicidal or hungry? I couldn't possibly have sunk this low.

Oh look, chocolates!

This is why I love @jesturtle. http://t.co/GZRKsDAG

Only time I feel like a big influence is when I take my phone out in class to text my boyfriend & everyone around takes out their phones too

Renember, people riding bikes on the road are like spiders. They're more afraid of you than you are of them.

Me: Would you like the white iPod Touch or the black one?

11-year-old Cousin: Black. White makes you look fat.


...kids these days.

I knew she was my best friend during a game of Pictionary when I drew a fish and she immediately guessed "Yoda" and we won!

Nothing makes me more nervous like a text from my ex-roommate saying "check out this photo I just tagged you in on Facebook!"