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Palin and crew are feeling unjustly blamed for the actions of an extremist. Maybe they can ask Muslims for advice on how to deal with that.
On behalf of all educators I'd like to thank Bill Clinton for making #Arithmetic trend. Especially since he didn't even pay for it. AHEM.
Without Instagram I'll just describe my breakfast to you. And my lunch. And my lawn. And my hair. And this sunrise. And my purse contents.
I made a drinking game out of Rick's wife, Lori. Every time she asks someone, "Can you watch Carl?" I take a drink. #walkingdead
Chocolate Jesus is PISSED that y'all keep asking for his birth certificate.
Six o' clock must be a man because it just came way too early.
This morning when your kids go off to school remember that there are countless of us who do our level best every day. Thank an educator.
I'm finally turning on the tv to watch the RNC and I think this is the part where they call out names for the Hunger Games. Right?
“Remember, when the framers wrote the Constitution, there were no gays in America." - Justice Scalia
YOU GUYS. AMERICA INVENTED GAY.
Dr. King’s Legacy: How to Teach Kids to Be Good People http://www.takepart.com/article/2013/01/17/celebrating-dr-kings-legacy-teaching-kids-be-service-others#.UPv4PXnRTUk.twitter … via @takepart
I can't wait for the kids to move out. Not because I want to get rid of them. Because I want to visit their homes and hide THEIR remotes.
Avoiding eye contact with a sultry plate of cookies. Little chocolate sluts.
Every time the Britney porn bots come back I delete them and think, "Heh. Look at me. I'm cockblocking."
We all need to stop what we're doing and search for the horcruxes where Santorum, Limbaugh, and Kirk Cameron are hiding their souls.
I told a young gal, "I like your Blondie t-shirt" and she replied, "That's who this is? I thought it was Marilyn Monroe."
Pass the Geritol.
Negroid. In love with The Cuban. A lifelong contrarian. I swear like a Scottish comedian. I am awesome every day. http://about.me/mochamomma