I stay strong & refuse to buy chocolate when i go shopping. Then i get home & i'm sad i don't have chocolate.

Hmm, I just said "you bet your sweet bippy" to a guy. Yeh, I'm surprised I'm single too...

Probably the best thing about twitter is i no longer call /text people when i'm drunk.

'Cool Runnings' is on. Must be Olympics time again

3wks ago i had a date. I've heard nothing, til today. I got a mssg, asking for the name of a website we discussed. This one may not work out

It's always good to make comments like "mmm, that looks nice" when driving w' your parents past a retirement village #KeepThemInLine

Oh ffs! Heard someone refer to Brad Pitt as a "hero for standing by her decision" to get a dbl masectomy. No, that's what a partner does

The day u finish a boxset: bit sad u've finished, bit excited to start a new one. The closest u'll ever get 2 knowing how ppl w' goals feel

The reason i don't want ppl to find me, is the same reason i no longer update fb. I find it easier to be myself, if no one knows who i am

why is it, every time i start exercising something hurts?

phone's predictive text didn't have bastards. Does now.

I like when men do s'thing considerate on a date. I mean, I could do it myself, but it's sweet he carried the tray w' both our Happy Meals

Wow, my carpet changed colour! It's amazing. I used something called a 'vacuum cleaner'. I think they're new

Morning tv 'experts' explaining how to tweet. "5-10 tweets per day is ideal" hahaha

omg that was scary. I couldn't get on twitter for 10 minutes. Worse; i couldn't tweet about not being able to get on twitter

I think if you are offensive when talking about how horrible someone else is /was, you lose your argument.

I really don't understand how childcare -hours, cost, availability, etc, is always discussed as a women's issue. Surely it's a family issue

I'm going to struggle to get a double mattress down a flight of stairs. And I really want to see what happens if I push it off the balcony

If you offer to get food from the fridge in the garage, you can restore your sanity, by checking Twitter #HandyHints

Sis & i texting re lunch. I asked her for the 'deets'. She told me 2 use real words if i wanted an answer. Told her i was 'totes ok' w/ that