I dropped a weed nug and it landed in a spider web and the spider was like "my nigga" and we fist pounded

By 2023 Scientists expect us to have completely depleted our worlds supply of Big Fat Greek Scenarios

@pmharper you're a joke

"Press Ok to Close the Wizard" is my favourite phrase to read out of context

*takes a big step back from the internet* wow what a pile of shit

O-K! Time to Smoke a Weed! Thanks twitter, for sharing this weed-smoke moment. Hi mom! Or should I say, "high" mom! Haha! A little weed humo

things my beard does: keeps me warm, creates wind resistance, melts panties

Pretty much anything I could have said about this Kony business was said here and more coherantly http://t.co/SeOnuOfs

FUCK INSTRUCTIONS I COOK ALL MY PIZZAS AT 420 DEGREES

Hugh Jackman was cast as the romantic counterpart in the "Cathy" Movie Adaptation. I never knew he was such a Huge Ack Man.

I'm watching Drive Angry as if it were the sequel to Drive

Girl at bar last night - "Why would you waste so much money on stupid ponies for kids?" well is a MAN not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

Heres a fucking joke for you: a literal dick made of weed.

Rule 1 of cybergoth club There Are no Fucking Rules in the Dystopian Cyberfuture. Rule 2 Jason can't wipe dorito fingers on my moms couch

This picture summarizes a lot about my life  http://instagr.am/p/RY2z-DreZI/ 

#lifehacks drink like 30 beers

Sometimes im sitting through a bad movie and i think "maybe at the end there will be a really cool picture of a pug"

baby, when i look into your eyes it feels like my mouth is filling up with syrup. I coulf duth thtawe indo yosligkj grggjnlkngrgrggrgg!

cumwave

I don't suppose anyone would know where to find an ipad giveaway on the internet