If there was a god I think he'd look favorably on atheists as they are good people who are good without being bribed with "heaven"

Hey @shinyuu and @iamchanelle ... http://t.co/nx6BzS23 gave #BearsofManitou top billing over Lady Gaga! :) http://t.co/dlTwYnz7

Seriously, #Arizona skies are so incredible sometimes it's hard to believe they're real. http://t.co/OoNo3F09

Goal #1 for 2012- STOP asking 'how bad can it get?' and START asking 'how good can I make it?'

@iamchanelle fill glass or jar with a few inches of red wine. Cover w/ plastic wrap. Poke a small hole w/ a pen. Voila! Fruit fly death trap

I'm at LA Fitness (Scottsdale, AZ) http://t.co/GyT81sNo

This is what happens when u mix a bag of gummi bears and vodka and they solidify into one gummi vodka blob. http://t.co/xFTpBzkC

To the stranger that paid for my groceries while I ran to my car for my card- ur kindness moved me to tears and I promise to pay it forward

See how easy? #oklahoma #dosomething (thx @manicsocratic you have social influence)  http://twitpic.com/cs726r 

Praying does about as much for people stricken by actual tragedy as a smile and a high five. Get off your wallet and actually do something.

Heyyooo! Not a millionaire but I did win $100 :) #powerball

Dang it! #siriusxm is down. I'm going to have to use any one of my many various ways to listen to free music. #whitepeopleproblems

How to get in and out of the car wash quickly: be the only fool washing your car during a sand storm #genius #haboob

I caught a glimpse of my own ass in the mirror at the gym tonight. Man, I love my curves <3 #loveyourbody

Season finale of #WalkingDead happening on Zombie Jesus day... Coincidence? I think not.

Gilbert... You're smelling particularly cow ass-y today.

@marcdzb @marcdzb Si! This is my little Miss Waiting for my Ruca (her registered name) I want to see yours!  http://twitpic.com/ce2nth 

@ellenstreiff lucky! We had one in Germany when I was a kiddo and I loved it. They were the tiny, sweet black ones #nomnomnom

@ellenstreiff peaches, plums, apricots, mangos, berries.... Mmmm! Can't wait.

Excited for summer fruits! This wasn't a good year for my Meyer lemon trees, and I didn't make it to @agritopia for u-pick #winterfruitfail