Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"Your password must contain a letter, a number, a non-alphanumerical symbol and the blood of a virgin."
My dad texts as if you have to pay extra for vowels.
It turns out that a lot of my Facebook friends both have moms AND love them!?
The phrase "slobbing knobs" is grossly underutilized in today's society.
Snapchat: for when you want to send a picture of your unshaved legs to all your closest friends.
Is drunk snapchatting the new drunk texting?
22 years-old and I was turned away from a bar tonight even with two forms of ID and a debit card with my picture. Looking young tonight.
I can hardly sleep I'm so excited for Groundhog Day tomorrow.
Everybody made Barbie and Ken kiss, right? I didn't develop sexually before everybody else did, right? Right?
Jennifer Love Hewitt got John Mayer to write "Your Body Is a Wonderland" about her and I can't even get a guy to write me a text message.
A guy saying "u" instead of "you" in a text is an instant turn-off. It's two more letters. Put some effort into it, boys. Impress me.
A woman looked my outfit up and down and said, "so I guess you like thrift shopping?"
Ahhh the Workaholics cast on Arrested Development.
Boss announced that there would be a big intern project at 11:30. This project is us trying to buy him Blackhawk tickets.
I just sang "Happy Birthday" to my dog at full volume in case anyone was wondering if I've completed my transformation into my mother.
Let's all agree to be over this whole Harlem Shake thing starting right now.