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How do you brief a toddler on stranger danger?
My "even if they pull their pants down, it doesn't mean you have to" didn't go over so well.
Ugh when people just show up at my door because they miss me, without realizing their feelings are forcing me to wear pants before 3pm.
Oh god there are real live people with expectations in my living room & I've forgotten how to speak beyond 140 characters.
Bella said she likes Justin Bieber so I put her in time out with Led Zeppelin blaring.
Visiting a potential school for Bella tomorrow. This upsets me because:
a) I don't ever want her to leave me.
2. Ima have to get dressed.
Have any of you seen a will to live? I seem to have misplaced mine.
I'm writing a book about challenges parents face. There are fifteen chapters. All of them titled Bedtime.
How does someone get stuck on Youtube for 4 hrs? There must be a way to disable this related videos feature...
Bella has decided to communicate in wolf howls in case you were wondering how my day is going...
Simultaneously lit my ciggie on the wrong side and figured out there was wine at that party last night.
When I get comfortable and only then realize the remote is across the room is when I know for sure no semblance of any kind of god exists.
Drinking juice out of a wine glass because I'd rather be fancy than do dishes.
Dad still asks why I don't have a real job. Um because I enjoy being my own boss& taking money in exchange for words without wearing pants.
Smarties and cake in a cup for lunch. Okay two cups but let she who is without hormones cast the first stone.
Took me a few minutes to realize the cap was still on my razor after I started shaving. I'm out. Wake me when it's Tuesday.
I'm knitting a Yoda beanie so that's why I'm not writing. Not because the words are coming out stupid and I hate everything right now.
I read, I write, I geek out with the best of them. Ps. I will dance if you let me.
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