Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"well that's a load on my back" - relieved slut
telling gay teens that life gets better is nice, but what they really need to hear is that their bullies will have mistake babies & die fat.
50 CENT HAS A COLOGNE AND IT'S NOT CALLED 50 SCENT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Big deal. They kissed on a balcony. I got fingered on a stoop once, and no one threw ME a parade. #StoopFingering
Just bought a head of lettuce. Should I throw it away now or wait two weeks like I usually do?
Biden's teeth are so white they're voting for Romney. #VPDebate
people who set off fireworks on July 5th have a favorite wrestler.
"I'm going to funk the ship outta your tight picnic you forgetful horse!!" - porn on basic cable
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have requested that in lieu of wedding gifts, everyone stop laughing uncontrollably at them.
the doctor says I didn't catch AIDS but the replacement refs said I did. Super confused and might have AIDS.
I think I'm addicted to naps cuz I take one every time I do heroin.
CNN just reported that nobody is making CNN jokes on twitter.
Dear people with kids, I'm going to take a nap now and get up whenever I feel like it. After that, I'm gonna do whatever I want.
Dog the Bounty Hunter bailed Nicolas Cage out of jail. In case you were wondering what the stupidest thing you're going to hear today is.
crying at a commercial is your soul's way of alerting you it's at 10%.
"a poor person came up to me and told me something that proves my point." - politicians
Stop asking God why bad shit happens. God hates FAQs.
Mary Magdalene is the oldest trick in The Book.
i like: boxing. whiskey. naps. documentaries. also a writer and performer person for the tv.