Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Is murder even illegal in Florida anymore?
"well that's a load on my back" - relieved slut
Bravo should do a reality show about women who have jobs.
telling gay teens that life gets better is nice, but what they really need to hear is that their bullies will have mistake babies & die fat.
Big deal. They kissed on a balcony. I got fingered on a stoop once, and no one threw ME a parade. #StoopFingering
50 CENT HAS A COLOGNE AND IT'S NOT CALLED 50 SCENT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Biden's teeth are so white they're voting for Romney. #VPDebate
Just bought a head of lettuce. Should I throw it away now or wait two weeks like I usually do?
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have requested that in lieu of wedding gifts, everyone stop laughing uncontrollably at them.
the doctor says I didn't catch AIDS but the replacement refs said I did. Super confused and might have AIDS.
"I'm going to funk the ship outta your tight picnic you forgetful horse!!" - porn on basic cable
being a writer is a great job if you love looking at a blinking cursor and wishing you were dead.
Is the moral of Homeland that teenagers are more annoying than terrorists?
Dog the Bounty Hunter bailed Nicolas Cage out of jail. In case you were wondering what the stupidest thing you're going to hear today is.
CNN just reported that nobody is making CNN jokes on twitter.
people who set off fireworks on July 5th have a favorite wrestler.
I think I'm addicted to naps cuz I take one every time I do heroin.
I find it fitting that George Zimmerman will spend the rest of his life terrified that the guy behind him is a vigilante with a gun.
AMC's slogan should just be, "if you're in an RV, some major shit has gone down in your life." #BreakingBad #WalkingDead
i like: boxing. whiskey. naps. documentaries. also a writer and performer person for the tv.