No. Nobody can. RT @andylevy: Can someone explain why resigning over an affair excuses Petraeus from testifying about Benghazi?

@crazycolours Scheiße! RobinHoodFlughafen ist geschlossen. Sie haben eine Woche, sonst bläst ich den Flughafen himmelhoch!! #IchBinSpartakus

FAT SOUNDS AWESOME! RT @anthropocon: Whoever does these "Texts from Dog" is freakin brilliant.  http://bit.ly/Zo4Env 

Fun with #OWS: Suggest they join the military to get free college tuition. Watch their heads explode.

Denver police ask @scrowder & @ben_howe to stop inciting #OccupyDenver to violence at #BlogCon11: http://t.co/FGRnKbA8 #BlameCrowder

Why does it matter if kids graduate high school "on time?" I'd rather they graduate "on par" than "on time."

Indisputable proof of spontaneous human combustion. RT @mmflint: What would you like to see Occupy Wall Street accomplish? #ows

Guiness World Record 4 biggest group to simultaneously run w/ scissors RT @mmflint: What'd U like to see Occupy Wall Street accomplish? #ows

Pure, unadulterated wisdom. #OWS RT @tinastullracing: Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

Mini-Ash says his #WonderCon costume is @groovybruce approved:  http://lockerz.com/s/288546578 

#protip? RT @chrisloesch: It's not OK to fire rockets from your house and not expect return fire to YOUR HOUSE! @kurtschlichter @ifnrule

I just named the inside of my toilet "holiday" to spite you. RT @politicsofamy: U don't go on holiday. U go on vacation. Ur not British.

@kesgardner There must be 1 guy @thinkprogress paid to change his name to "The Middle Class" who's getting a tax cut. @keder @twulitzerprize

Since you're downtown anyway...feed expired meters. @mmflint: What would U like to see Occupy Wall Street accomplish? Tweet your ideas! #ows

Find out who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong. RT @mmflint: What would you like to see Occupy Wall Street accomplish? #ows

Fix earth's orbit. Leap years suck. RT @mmflint: What would you like to see Occupy Wall Street accomplish? Tweet your ideas! #ows

Seriously, set a standard and stick to it. Some kids will graduate at 14, some at 23. Kids don't mature at the same rate. Just admit it.

@kesgardner I liked that he saw the world as black and white. Good and evil. He took a stand on things, even if I disagreed. I respect that.

Military officers still buying their own RT @seanagnew: Sequestration. Day 5. White House cancels tours. Earmarks $50M for new TSA uniforms.

But we need to protect women! RT @anthropocon: Aren't rape, sexual assault and murder already illegal?